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Comment by ajma | Hacker News Reader

I was very much going to take a similar approach to help train a child to know what the right behavior is. I have four children and it turns out they're all very different in terms of varying amounts of self control. I can definitely with my second one to use it at appropriate times but my oldest is way too impulsive and doesn't have the self control to exercise good behaviors (this isn't just a smartphone problem).

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I'm in the same boat...2 kids. The one who always wants a tablet also always want snacks and candy. Any good resources on curbing this before it gets worse?

I would suggest approaching the impulsive kid as a trainer might approach a dog. Determine what the motivation is, and then use that as leverage to get the behavior that you want (and which is better for the child). So, if you want them to practice reading, offer the tablet or candy as a reward for a certain amount of time or, perhaps better, a certain realistic goal. You haven't mentioned anything about ages or other personality characteristics, which has a big influence on this sort of approach, so take with a big grain of salt.

I love my kids more than life, but I find a lot of dog training stuff crosses over very well. I taught them "come" command from an early age - and they know to come immediately, without question. The idea being if they are in a dangerous situation, like in the middle of a street or about to be hit by a bike or something, that this is how I will get them out of it. I don't use the command very often, but damn if those kids don't come running! It makes me feel so much safer.

I really believe having two rescue dogs (with their own issues) before having kids was a really good intro on how to set expectations and build up patience.

This is dead on. I find, however, that you have to be careful about revealing your secret, at least in so many words. I had (more or less) the following interaction with a parent we see occasionally:

Them: "How'd you get $oneYearOld to do $that?"

Me: [Explains]

Them: "That's clever"

Me (unguardedly): "Yeah, it's basically like dog-training - [more or less what you said]."

Them: [Dirty look]

A year on I don't think they've started another conversation with me. Lol. I have the "bad parent" rep, but everyone likes our kid, so I really, really don't care.

[Edit: It's all positive reinforcement, mind. I'm not yelling or beating the kid, or anything like that. The objection is to a mental association between the child and an animal. My wife initially had the same.

How old are they? You might just be able to cut those things out of their life...a week or two of pain but then they might forget about it

They are 5 and 7.

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