Is this any surprise? High levels of income inequality combined with DINK needed for a house. Everyone is looking for a quick flip.
I know plenty of old-school companies that treat their people remarkably well and loyalty goes both ways. But I struggle to think of a new-schools tech company that won't exploit an employee's naivety.
20 years ago your dating pool was far more limited to location and social circles you were in. Online dating has decimated that. The illusion that you are a big win away from achieving a fast track to status is the allure.
its my opinion that you simply cannot trust people's words when it comes to hypothetical partners. Peoples stated preferences and actual actions are completely divergent.
But overall dating is not something i care to even acknolwedge statistics about. Never going to find a partner if you're not living a fulfilling life and have unrealistic standards.
Still though, where's the data?
They have very reasonable standards in how they expect men to treat them, and the men they date are overwhelmingly not willing to rise to those standards. These standards are maybe much higher than they would have been even a generation ago but for the most part they are still very reasonable! And I am not even talking about money here.
If your friends can't find men that meet their standards by definition their standards aren't reasonable since they aren't being met.
Were they reasonable they would be met.
Let's not pretend that social media hasn't had a much worse impact on women than on men.
The standards I'm talking about here are things like "will not mock or belittle me" and "will consider me an equal participant in the relationship and value my desires accordingly."
They haven't misunderstood the situation or made a mistake. Their BATNA is to not have a spouse and they are taking it. Where a generation or two they might have settled for someone who treated them dismissively, but not abusively.
What you're describing there is a woman's expectation of a man.
A man's expectations of a woman have nothing to do with the above.
>Their BATNA is to not have a spouse and they are taking it.
Interesting claim, let's revisit it when they are in their 50s.
Wut?
/u/giraffe_lady pretty much stated a baseline minimum for what you should expect from a partner. Are you honestly stating that you believe (most) men don't expect that from women? Because I certainly do and I have ended relationships with women because I didn't get that baseline standard of treatment.
None of the rest regret leaving their shitty husbands, or are willing to accept another weak marriage.
It's rather sad that someone as old as you has such a martyrdom complex.
The well adjusted of us don't want people to suffer because we disagree with them.
Your assertion is basically "lower your standards to what you see around you."
Yes, that's the definition of reasonable expectations.
It's time to tell them that they will not be special and the best they can hope for is comfortable mediocrity.
Lower your expectations and you won't be living on the street when you're in your 60s.
Women tend to want the single best man they can find. Many men seem to enjoy pursing as many women as they can get and are willing to have casual relationships with women that are less attractive and who they would never commit to. Combine that with online dating where women get to choose from a huge number of men. All the women are pursuing the few most attractive men. Those men have lots of options. Many women are sharing the same top men.
I think the mismatch is largely due to implicit standards on the part of women (must be a certain race, must be at least average height, must be gender conventional) that are so ubiquitous that they don't even consider them standards.
Hmm...