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Comment by raziel2p | Hacker News Reader

You seem to be ignoring the fact that people plan things in real life over the internet. Conversations started online continue IRL, and vice-versa.

Social media can be really bad, and maybe it's actually mostly bad, but it does facilitate real life interactions and good things.

Imagine your child going to school but not being allowed to play with other kids in recess. Lots of bullying and physical violence can happen during recess, after all. Would you use that as an opportunity to teach them the dangers of FOMO, and to just read a book?

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It’s the perfect opportunity to teach them the lack of value of FOMO, especially when it’s validation from people who would bully you that you seek. I don’t see why what you’re recommending is a healthy response.

I don't want children nor do I work with children, so haven't put any serious thought into how I would practically do it - I just don't think there's an objectively superior way to go about this. I won't judge anyone (parents nor teenagers) for surrendering to the peer pressure of social media, because it's so pervasive.

You haven't been around teenagers, or even humans in general much, huh?

Teaching another person, even an eager one, how to change their behaviour and mental patterns concerning validation and FOMO is a really hard task. It's not knowledge like math or something that you can just pass onto them. It can take months or even years even for pros (psychitrists etc.) to do that. Combine that with the fact that teenagers brains are wired differently (their need to fit it is greater than that of an adult) and their "natural resistance" to adults' teaching and it becomes almost impossible task.

>It’s the perfect opportunity to teach them the lack of value of FOMO

Ever tried teaching anything to teenagers where their peers and society in general promote the opposite? Good luck with that...

I agree with you. It feels like some people here never interact with kids. It really is a very difficult problem to solve. You ban your kids from participating in social media, and you might end up hurting them much more by isolating them and getting them ostracized. In the end your cure ends up doing more damage than the illness would've. I absolutely agree that we should do something, and I'm trying my best. However, as long as a critical mass of young people are partaking, I cannot in good conscience force kids to stay off, because I know how bad that would make their life. So it's all about education and drilling the dangers into them as much as I can. Ultimately, this is a new world, with new rules and new dangers. The generation of millenials, boomers, etc - we are on the way out. We can advise the new generation, but they will have to find their own way to handle the dangers.

Not to mention the kids over-compensating for your restrictions, and doubling down on the things you forbid/discourage them from - whether covertly behind your back, or after they grow up.

Like a strict parent whose kids end up doing drugs and partying as soon as they can leave the house, or even the opposite, some "hippie" all-too-liberal parent whose kind grow up and seek strictness and discipline, and e.g. turn religious or join a cult, or find some abusive partner who gives that to them.

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