> On this subject: Whenever someone chats me in the following manner, I want to kill them.

Then refuse this, set your status to "don't bug me, if you have a question just bloody ask it" and check your IM when you've got a lull[0]. If it's not a question, kill the window it's not relevant. I don't need "social interaction" on IM when I'm coding, if the other guy can't get to the point screw him, I'm not interested.

[0] If IM is specifically a way to get you immediately, start blacklisting people who can't get to the point and waste your time and have they go through email.