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Comment by DannoHung | Hacker News Reader

On this subject: Whenever someone chats me in the following manner, I want to kill them. Straight up. Just fucking take an ice pick and jab it right through their skull:

    Other Dude: Hi.
    Me: Hello

A minute elapses

    Other Dude: I'm having a problem
    Me: How can I help

A minute elapses

    Other Dude: ACTUAL PROBLEM THAT THEY NEEDED HELP WITH
    Me: Oh, here is your resolution which took all of 15 seconds to give to you.

WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! WHAT THE FLYING FUCKITY FUCK?! YOU JUST BROKE MY FLOW AND STOLE 2 GOD DAMNED MINUTES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! IT'S FUCKING IM, YOU'RE NOT GOD DAMNED STANDING NEXT TO ME! AND WHY THE HELL DOES IT TAKE YOU A MINUTE TO TYPE EACH THING ANYWAY?! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO TOUCH TYPE?!

I mean, CHRIST, if this happened once in a blue moon, fine, whatever, but it seems like EVERY motherfucker uses IM the same way. EAT DICKS.

...

I might have went a little overboard on this.

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> On this subject: Whenever someone chats me in the following manner, I want to kill them.

Then refuse this, set your status to "don't bug me, if you have a question just bloody ask it" and check your IM when you've got a lull[0]. If it's not a question, kill the window it's not relevant. I don't need "social interaction" on IM when I'm coding, if the other guy can't get to the point screw him, I'm not interested.

[0] If IM is specifically a way to get you immediately, start blacklisting people who can't get to the point and waste your time and have they go through email.

>If IM is specifically a way to get you immediately, start blacklisting people who can't get to the point and waste your time and have they go through email.

But of course they won't use email, they need the answer NOW. No, they'll come over to your desk and start tugging on your shirtsleeve.

I much prefer for people to visit, and to visit people. But it requires being able to take 'no' for an answer, and being able to say 'no'. Or at least, "I'm in the middle of something else; I can help you in 10 minutes. Otherwise, talk to Joe."

This is why I stopped using all chat clients.

That is why I insist on communication via chat clients when I'm busy. I'm not immediately interrupted as I would be if someone walks up or shouts out as I can ignore the little flash of the chat window on the task tray for a few minutes, sometimes tens of minutes, while I bring my train of thought to a more orderly stop.

If people start with "Hi, I have a problem" and don't state what the problem is I just respond with "drop me the details and I'll have a quick think" and get back to my work. Even if they respond immediately to that it might take me ten or fifteen minutes to get look at their message again - that is their time wasted, not mine.

Some problems require a more urgent response so I'll accept a walk-up or a shout for those, and some problems are best illustrated by showing them than describing them, I just have to trust people to know what they are and what is less urgent. And of course a message will come in at a time when I am eminently interruptible, in which case people get an immediate response anyway.

I find it works except for people who insist on not following the process, but they soon learn I'm far more helpful if they don't irritate me!

> If people start with "Hi, I have a problem" and don't state what the problem is I just respond with "drop me the details and I'll have a quick think" and get back to my work.

If people start with "Hi, I have a problem" and don't state what the problem is I close the chat window.

My work IM's status clearly states "if you have a question, ask it, don't ask if you can ask", time wasters simply get ignored.

> Some problems require a more urgent response so I'll accept a walk-up or a shout for those

Absolutely.

> If people start with "Hi, I have a problem" and don't state what the problem is I close the chat window.

In the past I've found that leads to people reporting "I asked him several times over a few hours and got no response" which, if the person being complained to does not know the situation, could look bad for me.

If I feel like being more terse, I just give a one-word response: "Details?".

> In the past I've found that leads to people reporting "I asked him several times over a few hours and got no response" which, if the person being complained to does not know the situation, could look bad for me.

As I noted, my conditions are clearly spelled out as my IM status text, if they can't bother following simple instructions I can't bother with them.

I'd answer that "I have a problem" with "I have a solution".

I do this all the time and add, "I like this game. Your turn." It normally gets a smile (at least in person), but doesn't really help with the flow problem.

I had clients calling me and don't hang up until i get the problem fixed...

YOU JUST BROKE MY FLOW AND STOLE 2 GOD DAMNED MINUTES!

Actually, it's worse than that. The (average) time it takes to get back into flow is 15 minutes[1], so add the time to respond to them to that to get your wasted time. And if you get another interruption before the fifteen minute descent into flow is complete? Start over - another fifteen minutes. If this happens constantly, you will effectively never get any work done. There's more than one way to kill productivity.

[1] - See "Peopleware", Chapter 10.

I'm really bad on IRC with this kind of thing. Need to get to the point faster. Thanks for pointing that out.

Not "faster", immediately. Say absolutely nothing until you've typed out your question.

Would you send an email that says "Hi", then another that says "I have a question", then another with your question?

Would you burst into someone's office and start telling them all the problems you expect them to fix without even saying hi?

First of all, you're not bursting into someone's office. Second of all, if you burst into my office while I'm working and start making smalltalk, I will, depending on my mood and whether or not I've previously judged you to be a useless person, either immediately ask you to get to the point, or throw you out.

Stop wasting my time. If sending "Hi" makes you feel better, fine, but the substance had better be on my screen by the time I look at the window, or you've wasted my time.

How do I know you're even at your desk? After I type in my problem how long should I wait for a response before giving up and doing something else?

The same way you know he's not at his desk when you type that useless "Hi": you don't get a reply. How long do you wait after typing a useless "Hi"? Wait that same amount of time after typing your relevant question.

Have you heard of these things called sentences? You don't need to hit return between each one.

"Hi Dude, I've got this thing I need help with. Here is the description of what it is and what I am having a problem with."

It's not an issue if they put it in the same chat message, it's the "Hi", send message, "I have a problem", send message, "This is what the problem is", send message that drives me up a wall.

And if you REALLY need him to get back to let you know if he can help out immediately, you can send a second message along the lines of, "And sorry to be a bother, but I need help pronto. Please let me know if you can take a look at this right now." At that point, it's not a big deal if there's another message, because you haven't wasted time in relaying it.

At that point it's not really a chat, is it? It's an email.

This is what I'm guarding against. I haven't been a programmer long, but it seems inhuman to not try and be polite or have a tiny lead up to the question. Ironically, it's the exact same thing that makes me impolite.

Hm, I've just started to think, also for my personal use, that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to try scripting some automatic 'Hello, how can I help you?' response to /^[^\w](hi|hello)[^\w]($MY_NAME)?[^\w]*$/i :)

I applaud this post.

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