You don't know that this person has lots of work to do on themselves. These things are partially a matter of compatibility, putting yourself out there (which is a thing you do rather than a thing you become), and yes, unfortunately, pure dumb luck.
I don’t know how long it will take to do this work. With a foundation of personal development and the right attitude, I bet you can go from “what if women aren’t interested in me” to successfully dating in under 6 weeks.
If you need to learn how to develop yourself, it could take 6 months or more before you’re able to internalize the needed lessons.