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Comment by blacksmith_tb | Hacker News Reader

No mention of what seems more likely to me than it being down to prestige or feelings of self-worth: if you're making a fortune, you may well have huge mortgage payments, car payments, expenses related to your children, your parents, etc. 'Escaping' those is likely much harder than finding the confidence to switch careers.

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Certainly the trick is to choose not to make these expensive commitments to spend money before you earn it. It’s much harder to claw back once you and your family get used to luxuries.

way way way easier said than done for many people

And expensive cities with.. of course return to office! So crazy high rents. It's more than golden handcuffs, since it means moving town.

Houses can be sold, especially in this market, a seller's market. Cars can be sold. Children don't need to be spoiled.

Agreed, the original commenter was highlighting how difficult those decisions can be psychologically. I mean, you try to convince your spouse to sell the house and move into a cottage and see how it goes.

A "cottage" sounds like an exaggeration, but in any case if your spouse would prefer that you spend endless hours at work rather than home with the family, then you've actually got bigger problems than "golden handcuffs".

Husbands can be divorced. Alimony/child support can be ordered.

If your spouse married you for your money, then you probably should get divorced. Unless of course you only wanted a "trophy", in which case you got exactly what you bargained up for.

(And don't say you married for kids if you spend all your time at work instead of with them.)

If you've found a woman who really will love you in sickness and poverty, cherish that because I sure haven't; it always seems that there's a transactional nature to things and ends that have to be kept up. Certainly I've never been married.

> If you've found a woman who really will love you in sickness and poverty

This is neither sickness nor poverty. It's simply not being fabuously wealthy.

Another comment talked about living in a "cottage". Why do we need to exaggerate? Not having a high-earning job simply makes you normal, like most other people, indeed most other married people.

I live quite modestly and always have. A cottage would not have been a bad description for my house. I actually like living that way, eating simple food and driving a beater car, but people do not seem to consider it attractive. Se la vi.

Perhaps such women prefer men who don’t think about women in such terms

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