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But AFAIK he does make you have a Tesla account to use a Tesla.

You need an account to drive a tesla

To control it remotely or use phone as a key - yes. But to drive you can use keys. And it doesn’t use your data unless you opt in.

By that same logic, no one put a gun to his head and made him buy into Windows.

He didn’t buy windows, he bought a new PC. Or did I get it wrong?

He bought a PC with a windows license. He can choose to install a new OS if he wishes. I also do think the account creation step is bullshit.

You get passed it by opening a shell and invoking the networkless version of the OoBE.

It's bullshit of the highest order.