It's faster than it was 10-15 years ago. It's still extremely slow.
> things like layout are still a concern on large pages.
> it easy to miss when you’re requesting the browser do other work like recalculating layout
You can't say things like "DOM is fast" and "oh, it's fast if you exclude literally everything that people want to be fast".
> and also that as people started using heavier frameworks they started losing track of what triggers updates.
I don't know if you realise, but on the very same devices where you're complaining about "large pages and oh my god layout" people are routinely rendering millions of objects with complex logic and animations in under 5 milliseconds?
The DOM is excruciatingly slow.