I was locked out of my computer after a Windows update. I had to go into a terminal in recovery mode, change an executable to a copy of CMD.EXE, then reboot my system and use the CMD.EXE (which ran as SYSTEM, the true god behind the Administrator demiurge) to create a new user, copy all my files and folders over, then set ownership of the copied files and folders to the new user.

Anyone who tells you that Windows is great because you never have to touch the CLI is either lying, or they've only ever had trivial interactions with a Windows system.