Comment by _yb2s | Hacker News Reader

Comment by _yb2s | Hacker News Reader

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I could have written this... I've spent thousands on productivity and organization courses, and put a lot of effort into them, only to find myself unable to follow the system, for reasons I don't understand.

My whole life I've suffered from massive guilt, shame, and stress over not getting things done that were really important to me, and nobody understanding. "Clearly it's not important to you, or you would just do it."

I was actually diagnosed with ADHD 12 years ago, and the first medication and dose I tried didn't work, so I stopped, and basically forgot I even had ADHD. In part, I think I internalized the shame and dismissals from other people and still believed I was just "lazy" and "bad" and needed to try harder even despite having a clinical diagnosis.

It didn't help that my (now ex) wife also was totally dismissive of the idea that I had ADHD, as were most of my friends and family. Even from other people I know with ADHD, they would get angry or dismissive when I mentioned my diagnosis, saying I can't possibly have ADHD because I have been successful so far in my career.

I just recently decided to start looking into it again, now that my son has also been diagnosed. If I can learn how to help myself, maybe it will help me help him.

I recently heard a podcast interview with Jessica McCabe, and she said something that was mind blowing to me: that there is no one solution or cure for ADHD, and we need to stop looking for that. You will need a large toolbox of things to help, and will need to keep adapting and changing this, and it still won't ever be a "cure."

If anyone has any good info or resources to learn more about ADHD, please post them.

How does exercise affect a child with ADHD?

I always see these portrayals of ADHD children being hyperactive and just think: what if you just made them run outside for a while...surely they can't have never-ending energy and eventually tired themselves out.

And after this period of exertion, when they rest, do they then just instantly revert back to 100% hyperactivity?

The physical hyperactivity is often a pretty minor symptom of ADHD, bigger issues for many kids are things like inability to regulate emotions, e.g. causing violent outbursts over small things, or inability to focus, e.g. not able to do school work.

The physical hyperactivity, like other ADHD symptoms, is a lack of executive control- the person cannot choose to stop moving even though they want to, or feel they should. This is the part that is often hard for non-ADHD people to understand: lack of executive control is an inability to direct our own activity with will or intention. We know what we should do and want to do, but cannot make it happen. So we can, e.g. be really tired, and really want to stop moving, but be unable to do so. Sometimes, with enough will and focus, we can for a short time, but it takes 100x the effort it would take someone else, and can't be sustained for long.

As a person with ADHD, and a father of a kid with ADHD, I can tell you that what you are asking isn't true, at least in our case. It's not about having never-ending energy, but about not being able to limit movement. My kid is constantly moving, even when extremely tired. They will fall out of chairs, and even thrash hard in the bed while trying to fall asleep. We are active outdoors people, and hiking all day long with a heavy load even makes zero difference. In fact, being tired seems to make the executive control worse, and therefore the hyperactivity worse. Which can be a downward spiral, because then you get increasingly tired, and are unable to physically relax, causing even more tiredness. For my kid, peak hyperactivity for the day is often the moments before falling asleep!

That said- lesser amounts of exercise that are enough to be calming, but not tiring, are often very helpful. A short walk, etc. can really help.

It's very interesting. I wish I could observe it.

Don't you wonder though how evolution allowed this trait to come so far though, especially with it being so prevalent.

Potentially it meant that for centuries there have been children with poor school grades who simply went off into lower-income careers that they were suited to.

Most of the people in previous generations in my family killed themselves with alcohol at a young age. In my generation, we are all diagnosed with ADHD, managing it effectively (without stimulants), and making 6 figure incomes as scientists and engineers. None of us have any hint of alcoholism.

My pet theory is that alcoholism doesn't actually run in our family, but that people were previously self-medicating for the emotional pain of being a round peg in a square hole with alcohol. When your whole life you are told that you are lazy and useless, despite internally wanting to work hard, provide for your family, and accomplish something- that causes a massive amount of pain and trauma.

People like you who insist a disability isn't real because you can't physically see it from the outside, are the reason why it took so long for people who are different to be accepted, and be able to find ways to cope. I still have to hide the fact that I have ADHD to be taken seriously professionally. Your attitude sucks, and is harming other people by dismissing who they are, and what can help them. You're morally and practically the equivalent of someone advocating for removing wheelchair ramps, and telling paralyzed people to just walk, and that people are just trying to sell them wheelchairs- it's just a scam. From the bottom of my heart- fuck you.

> My pet theory is that alcoholism doesn't actually run in our family

There is a lot of research that shows that medicating ADHD via an addictive drug can actually reduce the risk of addiction in the long term, because the dopamine delivery becomes more stable. So not so much a pet theory but actually well-studied science.

> You're morally and practically the equivalent of someone advocating for removing wheelchair ramps, and telling paralyzed people to just walk

Are you really trying to equate ADHD to being in a wheelchair or being physically paralyzed?

This is why people can't take you seriously. 6 figure income and your life is as bad as someone who is physically paralyzed apparently.

> From the bottom of my heart- f*k you.

Do you really think this is an acceptable way to talk to anyone in life, let alone the HN community?

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