Second, yes, there certainly are many men who are struggling. I even know a CTO of a startup that has gone through YC, raised over a million in funding, who’s in his mid 30s, and he still has his V card.
Then there men who are pretty low income who do odd jobs like wait tables, but are good looking, and they pretty much get laid like it’s raining women (just for them, to be clear).
I personally know a guy like that, and he’s dating multiple women simultaneously, and these women literally pay for his dinners and other things. These include a woman who’s a product manager making good money, a woman who’s got a bootstrapped startup with an ARR of over half a million USD a year, etc. He’s not officially in a relationship with any of them, but in informal situationships (and they’re not aware he’s dating other women either), and he rotates between them through the course of the week.
If you’ve ever seen a graph distribution of likes on dating apps, you’lll know what I’m talking about. About 80% of men get very little attention, whereas the top 20% and especially the top 5% live like one of the Sultans of the Ottoman Empire, with women ready to deliver themselves to their door for intimacy. It’s some pretty insane, dark, and depressing stuff to think about.
A lot of these men would make good fathers and good husbands. They also earn high incomes, so they would be able to provide an upper middle class life for their family if they had one as well. But the so-called “Chad cock carousel” has taken such a sheer number of women out of marriage and dating market, that millions of amazing men are left single, sexless, and unable to marry, and have children and start a family, etc.
This stuff cuts across racial boundaries, although non-white seem to have it extremely hard. Not that white guys have it easy. I also know a white/WASPy software engineer who’s a nerdy gamer guy (with his ancestors having moved to North America in the 1600s) and he struggled a lot with dating and women as well, but he eventually got married to a Chinese-American woman, and has had kids with them, and I can attest that he’s a great father.
These are the sorts of high quality men that many of these sexually-liberated women claim they want, but then in the real dating market, we see a situation play out where where a small number of good-looking (“Chad”) men (many who are low income or professionally-unsuccessful) end up having harems of 3 to 5 women, hence massively shrinking the number of women available. Why would women do this, rather that have a deep loving relationship with a man who can give her 100% of himself to her (and build a family with that guy)? I have no idea. It certainly isn’t a good thing. We see the results manifest in a massive drop in the fertility rate, a massive increase in the number of men who are single, sexless celibate (but who would want to start a family and have a loving marriage with a woman, and who likely would like be good fathers as well).
Many incels just want a wife. They don’t want to sleep with double digit women or anything. Many of these men would be happy with 1 single woman who loves them to commit to living their life with, and building a family with them. But then you’ve got millions of these women who priories the dopamine or serotonin (or oxytocin or whatever) hit of sleeping with various Chads, and the end result is the breakdown of families, and the future of civil society.
It’s a sad state of affairs. That’s all I can say.