Society needs kids (replacement rate at a minimum, growth preferred!), workers to do jobs, education of its members, competitive economic activity (growth preferred!), etc.
If done effectively, these are also opportunities to get significant dividends from society to offset our own needs and flaws.
Shame is the emotion used to tell folks ‘this will get you in trouble with the group around you that you need’ - if done appropriately, it’s protective of negative consequences.
One of the biggest issues with growing up is figuring out which of the emotional responses we’ve been trained into (or experience) is helping us or not, or adaptive/maladaptive or not.
Aka if you would not knock an old lady over and steal her purse, because you’d be ashamed to do it, that means you learned or were taught shame appropriately. And can feel it appropriately.
Because, if society was doing its job, you’d end up in jail or beaten up if you did that, and would lose out on good jobs, good mates, income you need, etc. as a consequence.
If you would not ask for help from someone who could provide it if you needed it for the same reason, then that is probably inappropriate and maladaptive. Or if you could not, say, get a job you needed for the same reason.
For women, they have a limited window where they can reproduce without a lot of risk, pain, suffering, etc (or when it’s just impossible). No one wants to think about it, but it absolutely exists and it sucks if it gets ignored - been there, done that, I can tell you many horror stories.
If you’ve dated any women in their late 20’s to mid 30’s, it’s nearly impossible to miss.
If they are successful in doing so AND in raising a child well, that will pay large social dividends for them for the rest of their life. If they don’t, society will marginalize them (even if they say they won’t) and they’ll end up in some very socially undesirable situations eventually.
It isn’t the end all be all of course.
Similar to men and learning skills like building wealth, getting/being healthy and strong, being courageous, approaching women, etc.
Also not the end all be all.
But also important.
A society which doesn’t incentivize the behavior it needs for itself or its members has ‘given up’, same with parents. Or lost the plot.
A social group which encourages its members to do things which don’t help them, is enabling things which don’t help them. Or doesn’t know what would actually help them.
Which, hey, nobody and nothing is perfect. And vices exist because they help prop something else up, and they’re often necessary.
But pretending a Casino is a bank is still BS, even if sometimes people walk out with more money then they walked in with.
Being unashamed of going to the casino everyday is… indicative of having broken social conditioning, if society is functional, and probably not good for the individual either long term.
And yes, none of this is groundbreaking at all. Quite unpopular though, to say it all near as I can tell.