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Comment by aurareturn | Hacker News Reader

>Sports, even more weight lifting, have not helped me in any way. If anything it established a wrong body image of myself. Something I never wanted to be or look like. Self-Confidence based on looks sounds fragil and very risky to me.

It's done the opposite for me. I used to have lower self-esteem. Once I got into shape and visible muscles through shirts, suddenly everyone is nicer to me. Girls are talking to me more. Men are nicer. No bullying.

I quit weed and started lifting weights at the same time. When combined, these two decisions have done wonders for my mental health.

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Glad to hear it worked for you. I totally get where you are coming from, but people are not nicer because you look better but because you approach them differently with your additional self esteem.

You definitely wouldn't need muscles for that. Getting to love yourself has the very same effect.

You'd be surprised. Girls definitely notice the muscles. :)

Did you learn to love yourself trough this is the real question :)

It didn't matter. Girls would stare when I walk around. That's never happened to me before lifting. Of course that boosts my confidence which exudes even more confidence.

You know the joke where people teach you how to be attractive and the first thing you need is "be handsome"? It's similar to lifting weights. You only get the confidence after people find you attractive.

You could just dress well, colorful or freaky (essentially dress with more confidence) and get stared at as well if that's what boosts your confidence.

My only point really is that they/whoever needs to find something that boosts THEIR confidence and not blindly follow things that worked for someone else in their specific situation.

There's nothing arbitrary about doing exercise to deal with depression, it's about as effective as therapy or pharmacological treatment, the same cannot be said about dressing well.

Yes. For some, according to the studies I've seen it's no magic cure that works for everyone, just as I said.

Plus there is an obvious issue of people putting their self esteem focus on something else they have little actual control about. That's not a sustainable solution on its own.

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