https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptophasia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idioglossia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_and_Jennifer_Gibbons
[0]https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&qu...
By the time I knew her, the quads were in first grade, and everybody seemed happy, healthy, and well-adjusted, but I cannot even imagine making it through four newborns and a pair of 3yos without a village!
Two sets of twins must be even harder. Hopefully you're getting plenty of help from grandparents.
Every day, we just keep telling ourselves that this is going to all be worth it later, but it's exhausting for now.
Also, it's my little personal crusade to normalize talking about not enjoying being a parent. It's totally ok and totally normal to have these feelings. It's ok to not enjoy this. It's not ok to absolve yourself from the responsibility you sighed up for, but it's ok not to enjoy it. Especially when they're young.
My own experience is that having two kids is harder when they're young and easier when they're older.
I have friends with just one kid and it's definitely easier to have enough capacity for the kid when the kid is a baby or toddler and needs a ton of attention. Having two toddlers is exhausting.
But when the kids get older and more responsible, they can take much of their attention, socialization, and play needs from their sibling. When I've gone on vacation with friends that have just one kid, they are essentially their kids' playmate the entire trip because otherwise the poor kid is totally alone.
When I travel with my two kids, I do stuff with them, of course, but they also spend a lot of time doing stuff just the two of them.
Especially in today's Western culture where kids don't have as much autonomy out of the home to play with other kids, I think siblings are a huge help for kids getting as much peer interaction as they need. Though, of course, I support anyone who chooses to only have one kid for whatever reason.
When two are gone for some reason (sleepover, staying with family, whatever) we're always like "holy shit, one kid is barely harder than no kids!"
Feeling exhausted and frustrated with 3 or 4 young kids does not make you a bad parent or mean you're not cut out for parenting. It's a normal human reaction. People just don't talk about it much.
1. get your baby to fall asleep
2. wake them up, then immediately try to get them to fall asleep again
The friendship I see blooming between them is the absolute best. There are definitely things that are >2x harder with twins: Getting dressed. And things that are <2x harder: Bedtime / bath. Cleanup.
YMMV, but I'm so glad we have kiddos the same age and got it via one round of pregnancy.
I find for things like coercion, having one twin convinced makes the second one much more likely to go along. Easily <2x the work for those kinds of things.
> having one twin convinced makes the second one much more likely to go along.
that has been the opposite of my experience
But I cannot imagine multiple sets. We rolled the dice with our son and I'm honestly thankful we didn't get another set, I have no idea how we'd have survived that. Kudos to you all for pulling it off!
Hang in there! It gets easier when they start playing together and it is nice to have overlapping friends groups when they are that close in age. They do fight more though....