it seems... i will wake up before i become conscious aware of how my life sucks... like waking up before having a nightmare. i will then be too lazy to be productive, waste my dopamine into thoughts about others... and then i will not have any good feeling of relieve and success (due to reaching my goals) when going to bed. (i suffer badly from bed-time-procrastination and insomnia.) the exit strategy would then imply that i would replace all those daily routines and useless habits that i would end up keeping to have further down that spiral. i should instead do the things that i procrastinate due to the excuse they do not seem urgent enough... replacing the useless with the not-urgent. that way i influence what my brain digests during my sleep.
the sleep-deprivation relaxes me to not judge my useless habits, but now that i know that, i can see myself from a different perspective, judge/plan differently what i will do next, take control...
i'm gonna try that now. :)