Why is everybody so fascinated by this? You can be both smart, weird and a sociopath.
You think that's the most notable thing out of all the other things he did?
Parents do that all the time to their kids after divorce, there's probably even a Wikipedia page about parental alienation
As an open source developer myself, I don't understand how it's possible. Why would you give away your labor for free if you don't feel empathy towards others?
My general level of empathy for people I don't know has declined significantly over the past decade and my open source contributions have also declined in line with that. I just don't see the point anymore.
I met some very good people through open source but, overall, the experience has taught me that most people on earth range from neutral to horrible.
Open source probably represents the best kind of environment to meet the best of humanity. The smartest of the good people... But it's still disappointing.
This kind of cynicism is self-fulfilling, though I’m sure you’re already aware.
Selflessness at its core is doing something for others not expecting anything in return. But I think true selfless acts are rare, because you need motivation to do anything, and “not getting anything in return” is zero motivation. Especially if you filter selfless acts towards family and close friends.
But I think there are still benefits in contributing to open-source and being “selfless” to strangers. Altruism gets others to become less cynical and more selfless themselves, reversing the apathy feedback loop. Open-source in particular also improves your resume and gives you connections, and makes you a better programmer so you do your job which you get paid for faster and easier.
Ultimately, I think the issue is that people need to focus on themselves before they do anything remotely selfless. My impression is that most people help others, but only after they help themselves to whatever their “fulfillment” level is; and while some people never feel fulfilled, most people’s level is relatively sane. Except the current economy and worldview is making a lot of people struggle, and the internet and social media (self-exposure and exposure to others) is making a lot of people guarded.
We all get mad at our spouses, but we don't kill em
Personally I still feel empathy towards people even when I'm angry at them. If rational people act like complete assholes to me, I start thinking that maybe they were molested or something really nasty must have happened to them.
This can just feel stimulating, immersing and captivating, so self control wouldn't be needed in the first place. An Open Source project is likely something that you are naturally very interested in so it makes sense a person would be captivated by that.
I get frustrated when I have to work on projects that I don't care about - e.g. I work on them in order to make money - but I never get frustrated about my own initiatives, side projects, etc.
I don't have problems controlling my emotions otherwise, but I could definitely see someone being captivated by a project enough, but at the same time lose control when talking to people.
And Open Source may not be just empathy, it could just be literal passion for the project and the idea itself.
In the end I think the frustration is caused by external pressure and this feeling of lack of control or ability to influence things. If you are working on your own things, you have enough power to choose the tech and circumstances to not get frustrated.
When you encounter people, they might be in a bad mood for a thousand reasons you can't know about and that you can't inspect like you can in "computer + program + data", leash out at you (verbally) for no discernable reason at all (and that they themselves may not even be aware of)
When you never learned about that messiness of a system as complex as people, it can feel arbitrary and hostile. If you're the type who needs method and order to feel safe, computers are wonderful, people much less so.
It’s frankly more shocking how many people survive it.
> Still weird how someone who can't control their emotions can spend hours sitting calmly in front of a debugger while coding over many years. I feel like developers have exceptional self control compared to most people.
Stress builds up and needs to be released somewhere.
What I learned over time is that it’s better to get angry at the debugger and be nice to people. Not a day goes by without cursing that hecking tool that does whatever the heck it wants again, but I smile at my neighbours and try to help whenever I can. I also use HN as a means to let some of my craziest thoughts run wild, so I wouldnt have to torment those around me with them.
Programmers are humans and humans rely on emotion. Got to control the flow and pressure somehow.
While I agree that controlling emotions is essential, gracefully dealing with them in the first place is also very important. Emotional outbursts seem like singular events while in reality they are build-ups that happen over long stretches of time. Maybe a more intuitive example is amok runs at schools. Counter-intuitively these are usually done by people who seem calm - cholerics are less likely to do amok runs.
FWIW reading also through the Wikipedia page, there was already a restraining order a year before.
Interestingly, mine has gone up. The more personal faults and failures I see in myself (and the list is extensive), the more empathy I have for other persons' imperfections.
If you are able to do this to your kids you are a special kind of human.