You're not wrong that seeing a local tradition play out that you don't feel part of can feel unwelcoming sometimes, like not being on the inside of an inside joke. But that's not the same as gatekeeping, and I need carry no brief for HN to say I really don't recall seeing that around this, at least.

It's a tradition of mourning that does no one any harm. I hope there should be charity enough to spare for that in almost any heart.