Energy.
A large enough meteor impacting the Earth at speeds high enough to cause an extinction-level event has a lot of kinetic energy.
Intuitively it seems like the troublesome part is the meteor hitting the Earth and causing earthquakes, tsunamis, and clouds of ash and debris as a result. And those things are really bad. But they’re a consequence of that mountain of kinetic energy.
So you break the asteroid up into a cloud of dust. Fantastic! No more crater, no more big boom. But you still have a giant ball of kinetic energy headed right at you, and that energy is just going to dump into the atmosphere. And boil it.
Of course that’s even assuming we totally vaporize the thing. More likely is instead of one multi-mile asteroid we have a bunch of giant chunks that will spread death and destruction all across the side of the planet unlucky enough to be facing it… before boiling the atmosphere anyway.