I do this with internal teams at work. I've found approaching other teams with issues with their library/framework in a "this could be our mistake" manner really helps in keeping them from getting defensive and stonewalling.
To give a really grotesque example, there is an country run by autocrats that carelessly unleashed a plague on the world because they prioritized their self image over taking descisive action to prevent an epidemic.
It could go both ways. I can never change though; saying sorry is too simple for me
> It wasn’t her fault
Sir, I don't know you at all, but coming from personal experience, if you often get walked over, maybe it's time to stop taking shape of a door mat. Maybe it _was_ her fault, and you deserve better.
I'm sorry, I know this is a serious discussion, but this made me laugh. I need to use this in the future.
Me: Sorry, I forgot about some details about the stuff I was working on last month.
Him: Your memory is so bad. I can literally remember all the details of the last 6 months. Try to become more like me.
This is very wrong. Eastern/Asian culture with its obsession with saving face is the culture where saying sorry is anathema.
Years ago we started to get basic introduction into Chinese culture, so that we could better navigate situations with a Chinese customer. This helped to better understand requirements and defuse certain situations. I've NEVER experience Chinese or Indian companies go to the same length, instead they will frequently attempt to bullshit their way out of situations or be offended that you believe that their product/service might in some way be at fault and they sure as hell won't apologize for it, under any circumstances.
Ever been to Japan?
You don't have to be excessively self-effacing about it, just avoid presenting things as though the project you're reporting it to being at fault is the only possible conclusion.
Even if you get an error from the software, consider that you might not be using it as intended or setup properly.
Then be grateful for the help, because it truly isn't granted or a given that people have to drop everything and figure things out for you, even if you work together. And even if the mistake was actually theirs. Gratitude is huge.
Sure, be kind, but don’t bullshit people. My personal and professional tolerance for bullshit is very low these days because there’s so much of it.
Except if you're actually convinced it could be your mistake, getting that tone will feel like getting played like some small kid. Most people will help you anyway and be professional, of course.
That reminds me of detective Columbo. It's cute and all when it's supposed to be done to strangers. Imagine Columbo coming to you every week with that same convoluted spiel.