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Comment by bmitc | Hacker News Reader

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I grew up poor. Something I realized early on is I had a lot of victim-mentality people around me. The world happened to them. I decided at an early age (like, under 10) that everyone is 100% responsible for everything that happens to them, including by chance. You get hit by a car? You were standing there. In this world view, you can have more than 100% responsibility because the driver that hit you is also 100% responsible.

Armed with that, instead of accepting and complaining about my situation, I worked my ass off to change it. And I did. By a lot. When I had kids, I tried to teach them the same thing. '"She made me sooooo mad" -- no, you are mad because you. Yes, your sister should not have pushed you. Yes, it is also on you to control your emotions. Let's go talk with your sister about pushing you.'

I expect there will be people who downvote this. Keep looking for others to blame and see how that works out. Take responsibility. Fix a thing.

This also leads to another of my early discoveries (also, under 10): if you can't do something about a situation, don't -- and don't worry. If you can, do -- and don't worry.

These have served me well, even if "wrong."

> "I decided at an early age (like, under 10) that everyone is 100% responsible for everything that happens to them"

Do you think you were responsible for thinking like that when you were 9 years old?

Somewhere I likely came across the idea that I was responsible for myself. I'm not sure if that was something my dad said in passing, or in a book I read, or a show on TV. I probably did not have the genesis of that idea in a vacuum. Given the environment I was in and the people that surrounded me, I could see that they blamed the world for their problems and it didn't appear to be working out for them. I grew up with no role models on how I should live - instead, I saw many examples of things I did not want to emulate. One of those things was a victim-mentality.

> See Munger's dorm buildings that he pushed upon universities that make prisons look like hotels.

I've seen them, and they look preferable to the dorms I actually lived in. Getting a room to myself instead of 2-4 people sharing a (what felt like) 100sqft space.

Were your dorm rooms brand new and cost hundreds of millions of dollars to build and forced upon the university and city via throwing money around?

Also, there are plenty of reports of just how bad his designs are: https://edition.cnn.com/2021/11/02/business/munger-residence...

> Also, there are plenty of reports of just how bad his designs are.

There's also plenty of great reviews of it. [1] 8.3/10 seems hardly catastrophic, especially if it gives people an affordable place to live.

I feel like the vast majority of the criticisms come from people who definitely didn't live in them.

[1] https://www.veryapt.com/ApartmentReview-a7222-munger-graduat...

the bad ones are in Santa Barbara

The "bad ones" in Santa Barbara never got built, no? So people definitely didn't live in them.

> Were your dorm rooms brand new and cost hundreds of millions of dollars to build and forced upon the university and city via throwing money around?

Irrelevant to whether or not I would enjoy being in them.

It's not really irrelevant. If someone spent all that money and effort on a building and you had no windows or exposure to outside light until you left the building, you don't think that would affect your enjoyment of the building? Especially knowing that perfectly serviceable and better alternatives exist but that's what they went with?

So I take it you lived here?

+1 these looked great, I would have much rather lived in this than the triple with zero privacy I lived in during school.

I lived in my own room with a shared living room in a dorm room decades ago. And it had a window and opened to the outside. The point is that better designs exist, but people will defend Munger just because his design could be worse.

I think my opinion and reaction is based upon his reaction. He rejected all criticism outright and refused to listen to anyone. It was his design, or he would take his money away.

Better designs exist, but they are rare, often due to circumstances like costs.

I too would have welcomed a private windowless dorm room versus having a forced roommate with no privacy. I specifically chose to commute an hour+ from my parents home because I couldn’t stand the lack of privacy offered by any of my school’s dorm options.

I saw more of the opposite - people dismissing him because of identity politics and just because he's a billionaire.

My impression was he had strict requirements because part of the design is about tradeoffs and cost and the reason this kind of thing takes forever and gets expensive is because of all of the arguing that happens during it. You end up with a design by committee and worse outcome.

I'm skeptical of the 'better designs' not having these tradeoffs.

It could be worse, sure. But those rooms (at least some of them) don't have any windows. Why would you build something like that?

My dorm room did not have windows. Honestly it would only be a problem if I never left it. But I was out and about every day to classes and friends and other typical university things

I lived in the Munger building at Stanford for a year and it was amazing. Maybe the other buildings aren't like that? But it was the best dorm I ever lived in, by far.

The proposed Munger Hall at UC Sana Barbra is what is being referenced. The building does not currently exist. The University Architect resigned in protest over it's design. I don't think the Munger designed the other buildings that bare his name.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munger_Hall

>See Munger's dorm buildings that he pushed upon universities that make prisons look like hotels.

Do you mean the highest rated campus housing on University of Michigans campus? Yeah. He sure victimized students there.

This is a pretty narrow look at his life, I'd encourage looking more deeply before pointing fingers. I am not defending his dorm buildings, but this feels misplaced. Especially today.

It is indeed misplaced, and I apologize about that, as I mentioned in another comment elsewhere. I have looked into Munger at various times, but I can withhold.

It's very easy to say even when you're poor.

I grew up relatively poor. I spent numerous years of my adult life poor.

It was easy to say regardless of how much money I had.

In fact, I hate the opposite premise: everything that happens to me is out of my control, my choices are out of my control, my mindset is out of my control. I'd rather own 100% of the blame for my circumstances than wallow in victimhood forever. Wallowing gets you nowhere, it won't actually get you out of the situation; taking responsibility in one way or another (either for your present mindset, or for choices you made that got you there), is the required minimum to get out.

This is a choice you get to make. How much willpower do you possess? How much discipline do you possess? What are you willing to do about your circumstances? More money doesn't dictate willpower or discipline, if anything it makes you soft, gelatinous.

That's like every university dorm building built before 2010.

maybe he's discouraging university education...

It's easy to make a pithy observation that he's a billionaire and then proceed to spew hate while thinking everything is a zero sum game. When Charlie was in his 30s, he was broke, his 9 year old son died, and he had a divorce. He was never a victim that blames others for their misfortunes though.

So it's his fault that all that happened to him?

I am sorry that someone has died, and I regret making a comment on this particular post before realizing the actual post topic too late, but I am not too keen on living my life based upon how billionaires think. Munger, like many billionaires and as the above quote and his dorm designs showcase, liked to speak about things he didn't know anything about, and people like to idolize billionaires in hope that they will someday be one too.

Self-pity is a natural human emotion. Rejecting it outright and replacing it with self-blame seems beyond strange. I would recommend people to sign up for a therapist and have a professional help them work through life rather than a person only well known for hoarding capital and opining on things he isn't educated in.

"So it's his fault that all that happened to him?" No - he's saying that acting like everything is his responsibility and that believing that only his actions care improve things is much more likely to lead to actual improvement than feeling like a victim.

Could you point us towards some evidence-based clinical practice guidelines that would support your point? Have there been any large scale studies which show that following Charlie Munger's approach produces worse outcomes than the alternatives?

> I am not too keen on living my life based upon how billionaires think

Yeah I mean, it's just a thought he expressed once. I don't think OP is saying Munger invented or owns the concept, just that it encapsulated a view that they liked. That doesn't strike me as "living life based upon how billionaires think."

He is sharing what worked for him. Sorry it does not conform to your world view.

It's not my world view. I prefer to listen to professionals.

Maybe you need a professional to tell you to stop worrying about what other people find inspiring.

I didn't realize this wasn't a discussion forum.

Although, I am indeed sorry for posting under this specific topic.

> professionals

On what human psychology? Name any random opinion, I'll find you a professional who supports it? It's not a field (unless you're dealing with individuals and their specific issues) where being a "professional" matters much...

How much do you pay them to tell you that?

self-blame is not the same as taking responsibility. Only one person can change you: you. Taking responsibility for yourself is the only way I know how that works.

Talking about things you don't understand is a natural human activity. The poor as well as the rich are able to do it. It's very peculiar that you're so obsessed with this completely normal aspect of human life and view it as a character flaw. Please, seek professional help for whatever issues in your life are causing you to build up this much anger and resentment.

Nobody ever made a billion dollars being generous

Exactly. So maybe we shouldn't be celebrating billionaires.

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