Yes, you're articulating the bizarre dance of people trying to have a say in each others internal state. The victim wants the offender to feel contrite and the offender wants to the victim to feel less hurt.
Since nobody seems to have complete control over these seemingly internal states, and no reliable way to measure them in each other, you end up with this unresolvable performative dance where each party tries to control the other's subjective experience. And what shakes out of that is people inevitably calling each other insincere, insensitive, passive agressive, out-of-control, etc