OK so to translate those 'consciousness markers':
- You've gotta have a brain like ours
- Messing with your brain should do the same thing to you that it does to us
- Gotta have 'attentiveness' since the homunculus needs a homunculus too
- It's you in the mirror
- Get wasted like us
Hmmmyeah these seem like good yardsticks for consciousness. /s