There are types of restaurants where reservations are essentially, if not literally—mandatory. And maybe this doesn't appeal to you, but I can't imagine you'll have many chances to dine at a three Michelin star restaurant with this kind of approach.
When the first startup I founded took off, I tried some of the more expensive restaurants in my town. I kinda liked the experience. But after a short while, it tapered off and I do not get any more out of it than from visiting a €10/meal restaurant now. So I almost never go to fancy restaurants these days. There is nothing that draws me there.
Really curious to hear what those restaurants give you that a cheap restaurant does not.
I've eaten at a few 3-star Michelin restaurants and the experience at each was worth living imho. 3-star means not only is the food world class, but the service is as well. I still remember fondly each thing I ate, and just as importantly, the interactions I had with the chefs throughout the evening.
It happens to be the case the excellent food and service does come at a price, so Michelin 3-star places tend to be expensive. Likewise people tend to dress up when they spend a lot so they tend to be "fancy", but those are things that happen as an artifact of the quality of experience they provide.
I've been to plenty of places that are expensive and very "meh", and I absolutely loathe "fancy" restaurants that pretend they are offering you some privileged experience (which is usually a laughable facsimile of the experience of real high-end dining).
I'll add that there are also diminishing returns: The experience of sitting at the counter of at Masa, with only two other couples why your personal chef hands you some of the best sushi in the world is incredible, but there are other omakase places in NYC that offer a nearly equally amazing experience (especially if you go on a quiet Tuesday night) for 1/3 the price, but I'm very glad I had that counter experience at Masa.
I’ve eaten across the stars and had the same misconception when we ate at 2-Star Tim Raue Wild in Berlin and were surprised at the poor service.
It almost feels like the servers have ESP. They get you a new napkin, or fork before you even raise your finger (but not after you thought about asking). The food is timed perfectly. Once everyone finishes the course, the next course comes. If there's a conversation about the previous course, the next one miraculously waits until that conversation dies down.
The food is ordered in a way to activate taste buds. It's not just from "lighter fare" to "heavier fare." Salty/sweet, temperature play, texture play; it's all on the table and masterfully executed. There's introspective dishes served in one course, and fun dishes (like candied balloons) in the next.
The food itself is nutrient-complete, so while the portions are ostensibly small, you leave satisfied, and each course builds the hype. There's never a dish that ends up making the last feel "smaller."
You can sit for as long as you want, then when the group decides it's time to leave, the restaurant already has your jackets ready, the car is ready, and everything is in it's right spot. There's no mix ups.
The crispness of the experience made me realize food can be more than just a meal, but ultimately it's hard to define without trying it.
... the food is objectively better?
... the ambiance is objectively superior?
... the staff is objectively superior?
No-one wants to eat a 14 course tasting menu every night, but I don't buy the idea that a $10 restaurant is going to be a comparable experience.
I have absolutely had the experience of an inexpensive local seafood restaurant on Long Island making much better food than an upscale place in Manhattan, for example.
Especially with things like seafood and steak. Honestly, I can make a better steak than any restaurant at home. I can shuck oysters and have fun. And as you said, with seafood in particular, little places in good locations often have better food!
But the experience of the fancy restaurant has it's value as well.
In upscale places that are bad go out of business, unless their primary means of gathering business isn't food, but instead is location/proximity to a source of near captive audiences.
Sure, McDonalds has sold like, a trillion hamburgers and a local started restaurant does like 100 covers a night. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t packed and that the reservations don’t go instantly, as soon as they’re available.
99% of people might not think think the difference is worth it; but I just don't accept the idea that 99% of people wouldn't think that the service and ambiance at Per Se is better than Olive Garden.
Michelin stars mean that a restaurant has been vetted by presumed skilled experts.
This means that you're going to have on average a better experience, but that you'll pay more for the experience you get (since they're in more demand). Finding a restaurant of similar quality without the stars will take more digging, but will likely give you better value.
I'm not big into the show of it all, and I really enjoy cooking myself, but I can't even come close to the quality on a single dish they produced, much less the 5 - 10 small dishes you are typically presented. If you love food like I do, you'll generally love the food experience on presentation and taste alone. The head chefs are typically artists when it comes to this stuff, they spend a lot of time and effort coming up with both unique and enjoyable dishes. It is not catered in any way to mass production and speed of service like you see in the typical restaurant.
This said, if you don't enjoy food, or you don't enjoy special experiences you're not going to get much out of it.
https://www.fearlesscaptivations.com/pasta-bar-austin/ is an example of someones experience of the last place like this I ate at.