I gave up. I cancelled my streaming services.
I bought a mini PC (<$100). I started buying blu-rays on FB Marketplace and pawn shops ($.75-$2.00 each). I'm ripping them to a big harddrive (12TB, ~$200). I have Jellyfin installed (Open Source, Free). I bought a digital antenna ($130) and capture device ($200) compatible with Jellyfin. I set up SSL certs and DuckDNS (free). I integrated it with Home Assistant (free).
I can now watch my movie library or live tv from anywhere, and I have all of the bonus features from the disks. It's private!!!! I'm not being tracked. There is no profile anywhere that says "he watches this or that for X amount of time at Y part of the day, and travels to A and B".
I had subscribed to Netflix for over 16 years. Then, when they "cracked down" on my mother accessing it (I had stopped using it myself), I decided that enough was enough.
I don't care if it cost a lot to set up. This is mine, and I will NEVER go back to paying them a subscription.
Lesson: Don't anger the nerds. They can replace you. They will replace you.