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if (days_since_last_phone_home>30) brick();

What I'm really asking is if you are allowed to block the phone home process. Or, in superlative language that I suspect would resonate more with Tesla fans, "in the event of an apocalypse does your Tesla automatically brick itself or does it continue to function?"

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There's lots of research here in the Tesla hacker community. The car continues to function. The easiest (not trivial, but easiest) way to test it yourself is to remove the SIM and disable wifi -- the non-network features of the car continue to work indefinitely. There are even some third parties who support early Tesla vehicles, on stock firmwares, in part by fully blocking comms with Tesla.

I guess your tesla will be the least of your problems in the event of an apocalypse

Low maintenance vehicle not dependent on oil?

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