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>you wont find animals falling into existential dread and despair because they haven't gotten laid yet (or recently)

I don't think I've heard of any animal falling into existential dread or despair, for any reason. But quality of life is absolutely impacted by ability to breed.

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Years ago there was this elephant at the zoo pacing at his enclosure. I spent 30 minutes watching, and while it didn't explicitly mention anything about feeling existential dread or despair, it certainly looked like it did.

I feel you. Probably all advanced mammals have very complex inner lives and emotions.

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