Based on my observations and conversations with girlfriends who use dating apps, women rate men based on height first, and everything else (including social status) second.
I got friend zoned more than I wish to admit. I started dating my now wife at 36 and I’m now 49.
I wasn’t unattractive - I was in peak physical shape by any metric as a part time fitness instructor, runner, muscular, 10% body fat. I was outgoing, decently successful financially etc.
But I am short.
It got better after my divorce At 32. Maturity - maybe? The nature of competition changed - probably? I was single, no kids, intelligent, still in above average shape. But I would have still failed miserably on dating apps I think. I met my now wife at work and the women I dated before then were mostly through teaching classes at gyms.
They were more willing to let their guard down with me as an instructor than just some random dude trying to hit on them at the gym
My 5' 2" wife freely admits I would have never passed her height filters (we met at a bar).
It's sad - for my age group, I'm roughly average (slightly below) height at 5' 8".
Most women I've talked to (my wife included) set their height filters at 5' 11" or above.
When you take weight into account, they're all looking at the same 15-20% of guys - and then complain that all the guys they meet online are jerks.
I wish the online platforms would include population demographics in those filters - I don't think most people understand how many potential partners they're missing out on by setting filters that they don't really care about.
1. Knowing this, don't guys just lie about their height in their profile?
2. Are most women really able to look at a guy in-person and know that he's 5'10 vs. 6'0? Or is it mostly abstract and only becomes an issue because height is explicitly listed in online profiles?
You can only lie to some extent, though. hard to pass off 5'8 as 6'.
I also started dating my now wife at 35 and she was a single mother of a then 9 and 14 year holding her own and we met at work. She was looking for something different than women in their 20s.
My only two long term relationships (and marriages) were with short women. I have never gone after taller women and I only had any type of romantic chemistry with one person that was taller than I was. We were in the same friend group at the gym I taught at and she was going through a divorce. By the time things finalized and the opportunity made itself available, I was dating my now wife.
But was that romantic or rebound?
This is not the average for men in certain socioeconomic classes/age groups/ethnicities. For a non malnutritioned young man, 5ft8in or 172cm is probably going to be on the lower end depending on ethnicity.
This is not to make any judgment on which heights woman should or should not be “filtering”.
It's wild how people's real-world preferences can be completely different than their more superficial online ones (I'm not excluding myself from this, or is this aimed at any gender/group in general).