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Comment by Aloha | Hacker News Reader

You don't need to dwell on it either - and that's the issue, most people dwell on it, because they're taught that all feelings are good and valid, and should be explored, my own experience says the opposite, not all feelings deserve exploration, and too much navel gazing is bad for ones mental health.

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However, not being able to explore such feelings ends up making you an unsympathetic person, as you cannot bare these feelings with others.

Another argument is that you are denying yourself of the experience of being human. These feelings exist for a reason, just as physical pain exists for a reason. You wouldn't hurt yourself on purpose (or maybe you do c;), but physical pain helps you stay safe. I feel this is the same purpose of negative feelings.

Finally, I have found out that suppressing these feelings does not allow you to fully process and heal from the events that trigger them.

"Suppress" seems to be a loaded word.

In the context of "denying it exists", yes, it's clear to see that it's not possible to process the negative feelings if not explored.

But the positive interpretation would be to not spin on these thoughts endlessly. It's a trap for all of us and obsessing over hurts doesn't serve us well either.

I have a theory I call "the emotional digestive system": we take in these hurts, taste them, chew on them. Then they digest. If the process is working well, we shit them out.

I dont disagree. But there is a big difference between not getting attached and pulled around by your negative thoughts and just ignoring them.

The way out is agency over how you deal with reality, not better blindfolds in the short term.

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