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If someone is asking if they should decide between RabbitMQ vs Kafka, they should 100% use RabbitMQ. It means they have no idea what they're dealing with, the architectural differences, and the investment that the company needs in order to use Kafka.

So use RabbitMQ.

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How do you create anything with RabbitMQ that a) has performance characteristics under load you can reason about and b) can handle individual node or networking failures without data loss?

Kafka is overkill in most scenarios and you should probably just see if postgres isn't enough for your needs first (especially since you will almost certainly already need a database anyway). Kafka is more pain to setup and run than it ought to be. But underlying it is a useful and sensible abstraction for building robust distributed systems.

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