A community is just another name for somewhere you go to for troubleshooting, be it a forum, Stack Exchange or Discord? Unless you have never needed that, and that RTFM has been enough.
1: let me mention here that I come from an ethnic minority in my country and for reasons completely unrelated to this discussion am not welcome in many corners of the internet.
There are people whose reply to that statement would be "Help! I'm being oppressed!" . The sort of people who say being race-neutral is white supremacy.
There's a lot of bored people who just want to feel like social activists because they've been taught it's noble (no matter how cringe it is to normal people). And there's no lower-effort way of doing this than causing drama in tech communities where no one cares about your race or gender. It's a perfect place to turn into a battleground, and then if they reject you, you run to social media to virtue signal about toxicity.
Sure, but pronouns? If someone refers to you using the wrong pronoun (e.g., assuming you're male, which this Vaxry person apparently admits to doing), don't you want to point it out somehow?
I find it interesting that the "anti-Woke" also end up appealing to same values of tolerance that the "Woke" appeal to. Perhaps it points to the lack of diversity in Western thinking.
But it seems a lot of people don’t have the skill of channeling their disagreements into respectful reasoned language.
Vs. responding to their disagreements with whatever vitriol makes them feel good, but doesn’t express anything coherent.
Also, if a forum is about X, there is some value in not engaging in habitual conflict on non-trivial side issues.
A free for all zone is fine, but then give the forum a name that reflects that.
Nowhere did I say “my” view of being constructive.
Very few people have no sense of when they themselves are being (or have been) more constructive or less.
It’s easy to say nothing can be done. Perfect agreement on good manners is unattainable.
But even a little improvement, goes a long ways.