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As you mention yourself, how many use .NET for web stuff without ASP.NET, or for databases without EFCore? Sure there are plenty of third-party "single-task libraries", but all the big architecture-impacting decisions tend to come from the ivory tower.

This kind of reply reeks of when Phil Haack tried to convince people that (the old) .NET Framework was "open-source friendly" because NuGet existed.

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The reason is pretty simple. It's because those 1st party frameworks are awesome. There is very little reason to build something else when you can contribute to them instead. ASP.NET is crushing other web frameworks in performance on techempower benchmarks, it's up there with Rust frameworks. And EF is probably the best full fledged ORM in existence (when compared to something like Java Hibernate).

NHibernate is quite popular alternative to EF and I've seen it used on many projects, especially big apps. Some smaller apps also choose Dapper (by StackExchange) and avoid EF.

Regarding ASP.NET, you're right. There are some alternatives, but not used very often from my experience.

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