Services like Fastmail provide clear step-by-step instructions on what you need to configure. Typically you need to add some DNS records (MX, SPF, DMARC, DKIM), and that's it. It sounds way worse than it is and it takes 10 minutes tops if you've never done it before, less if you know what you're doing.
Getting out of blacklists is you email provider's problem, not yours. I've never heard of any domain owner who is not hosting their own server run into this. I can see it happening if you use the same domain for your servers, one of them gets compromised and starts sending lots of spam. So you should probably avoid using your personal domains for your servers, and definitely skip crappy TLDs like .xyz, and you'll be fine: