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This isn't an elevator pitch, it's a standup line.

I understand your excitement, but your elevator pitch fails to tell me why I should even look at it.

Who are you?

That random person that this pitch is supposed convince to use it.

Point was: pitches should be given with the receiver in mind.

Agreed.

Posting your pitch on a technical public forum should have a random critically minded technical person in mind.

Sorry I’ll have ChatGPT write it next time.

Perhaps try and make it compelling to a prospective user next time?