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Comment by Brajeshwar | Hacker News Reader

It has been about 10-years ever since I divorced from almost all forms of notifications on all device types, and had almost always had the ringer to silenced. And I think it has been about 5-years ever since I default to DND and only selectively have a list with set number of people who can ring me.

It has angered quite a lot of people but has been a life-changer. I tend to either batch-call the missed ones or just ignore. Of course, there are calls that are scheduled.

I even have a website dedicated to that effort. Feel free to steal the idea - https://phone.wtf

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My policy since early high school has been "The best time to call is text me".

Started using DnD with my first iPhone (v4). Best decision ever.

Lately I've started fully disabling notifications on apps that abuse the privilege. Works even better than DnD.

Something I find very annoying is apps with useful notifications that also prod you with basically ads to open the app. Like Okcupid is an app where I’d like to know if someone messages me but absolutely do not need the daily 6pm prompt that tells me “now is a great time to log on!”. Generally gives me a bad taste.

Yep I disable notifications on all of those. Especially food delivery and taxicab apps where notifications would be super useful.

App companies need to understand that my life does not revolve around their app. It’s a tool that I don’t want to think about when not in use. If you are legitimately a good solution to my problem, I will remember when I need you. Please leave me alone otherwise.

You're fighting the good fight but I don't think you'll win this one. I am a fellow adherent to the philosophy that I am the owner of my phone, not the other way around. Mostly people just accept that this is just an unusual preference and not a personal slight against them but I too have been on the wrong side of some angry people. I've noticed the ratio of people who are ok with it is dropping though. We are evolving a cultural expectation of 24/7 instant communications response and opting out of that is offensive for some people.

I've never seen anger from people for not responding right away (unless it's time urgent and we've discussed it beforehand, such as meeting up at a location and one party is late), and I'm relatively young. All of my friends just respond when they can, it's known that it's an asynchronous medium.

More than half of the calls I make are not picked up immediately. Whatsapp is usually several hours of delay for a response. If it would be a day, I would not be upset, and most people aren't. I really do not understand what the fuss is all about.

i never had anyone complain, but if i miss a call and feel they need an explanation (maybe because it was important or urgent) then i just apologize and tell them that i have to keep my phone on silent when i work. and i prefer it silent in the evenings when i don't want to be disturbed. or kids are sleeping, etc. for in between i just forgot to turn the sound on (which is what i actually do if i am expecting a call)

that covers most of the waking time, so if they want to argue that's a hint that they are probably not very good friends. and if they are not friends to begin with then i just tell them to stuff it. they are not my boss and i am not here to do their bidding, and i already apologized to forgetting to turn the sound on when expecting their call.

I agree, just say you were in the loo and didn't want to talk to them from the toilet. Or in the shower. Or driving somewhere.

Most people understand that, and you don't want to talk to the people that don't.

Don't fool yourself, it didn't anger anyone; no one really cared

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