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Comment by irrational | Hacker News Reader

In our last house we knew 90% of the people on our street and regularly interacted with them. We have been in our new house for just over 2 years and only know our neighbors on one side of our house. The neighbor in the other house moved in just a week after we did. In those 2 years we have seen him only once, they day he moved in when he pulled up in his car, got out (without looking our way), opened the garage door, drove in, and closed the door. We literally have not seen him a single time since. The only way we know anyone still lives there is the garbage cans going out and coming back in each week (though, nobody has ever seen him putting out or retrieving his cans). Anyway, it’s hard to get to know a neighbor who doesn’t seem to exist.

In our previous house, we lived about halfway down a dead end street, so anyone from one end walking by would come past our house. Also, there was a neighborhood garden which brought people together. In our new house, there is no community gathering space and we leave in a culdesac at the end of a road. The result is we don’t get to know our neighbors.

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Sounds blissful.

I'm a fairly introverted, reclusive person. Much like your one neighbour. I keep to myself.

I do know my neighbours. The couple on one side is delightful and the woman on the other side is a "Karen" who I prefer not associate with. She is an outdoor person and only "talks" to me when she has a problem with how I keep my yard. Ironically I would probably use my yard more (and thus tend to it more) if she were not always outside in her yard being loud.

We have alley parking and garages in the rear, and I have workshop in my garage so I met a lot of my neighbours on the other side of the alley when working on projects... they came and introduced themselves and asked me what I was working on. They are delightful, but they also interrupted me which is annoying.

My wife and I are easy to get along with and go out of our way to be friendly, but would honestly rather not know that our neighbours exist. Car doors, the sound of people talking, dogs barking, kids being loud, lack of privacy in our back yard are all things that really bother us. On the flip-side, when the tree in our front yard shed a branch so large that it was practically a small tree, the delightful couple next door helped us clean it up. I felt a sense of community that day and I started to get what others find enjoyable about it. Still, we often talk of going "going rural" and not having neighbours at all.

I think you'll find that community matters even more in rural towns.

We are social animals. We can't do it all alone. That modern society has enabled us to be 'reclusive' is frankly a maladaptive outcome.

Hell is other people. Since we're apparently doing borderline thought-terminating cliches.

HN is a social community too. So are other online forums, discord chat groups, mailing lists, gaming communities, open source communities, etc. People are driven to social interaction, whether virtual or in-person. I don't know what is the big deal in acknowledging that.

That may be technically true, but is really just an implementation detail. If HN quietly replaced all the accounts with suitably capable LLM bots, it wouldn't make any difference. What this type of service really has on offer is solitary activity: Writing for one's own enjoyment, differing from a private journal only in that the software here provides some colour back to spark additional thoughts in order avoid writer's block.

I'm not sure the same is true in 'real' communities.

"It wouldn't make a difference" - To whom? And how do you know? Even if a bot passes the Turing test, a community where there isn't any creativity or new information will die out. LLM is not the be all and end all of the human experience.

To take it further. even if we were all in the matrix, the statement "it wouldn't make a difference" is not true - philosophically speaking.

Also, humans have a circular reference with society at-large. Humans shape society, and society shapes humans. So something completely different might shape future societies, but I'd rather discuss the situation as it exists today, rather than an imagined future.

There have always been hermits even before modern times, but I agree it's a high risk life strategy.

Loners are probably much more likely to die of say, having a heart attack and not receiving help promptly.

"Loners are probably much more likely to die of say, having a heart attack and not receiving help promptly."

On the other hand, loners won't get a heart attack caused by other people ..

"People who experienced social isolation had a 32% higher risk of dying early from any cause compared with those who weren't socially isolated."

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/06/19/health/loneliness-social-...

Oh for sure.

I guess except for rare exceptions, allmost no one really wants to be alone by default. But I know that I am rather alone, than in bad company.. and I met quite some people, who lived in misery, because they were too scared of being on their own for some time.

I always wonder about those statistics, I could imagine an extrovert is going to have a much tougher time being alone than an introvert. To apply it across the whole population seems dubious.

Falls are a fairly common cause of death. If you are elderly and fall and no one is around to help, that is in many cases a death sentence. Consider also the parent's comment about heart attacks, which you seem to have glossed over. Seems this factor alone can explain the data.

Why would an introvert be more likely to have a heart attack from being alone? People stress me out so much. I imagine less stress would lead to fewer heart attacks.

Seriously? I'm going to copy the parent's comment in full:

> "Loners are probably much more likely to die of say, having a heart attack and not receiving help promptly." On the other hand, loners won't get a heart attack caused by other people ..

You die anyway at some point. Not sure what this obsession about maximizing lifetime is about. I rather live like I prefer to and when I die I won't care anymore anyway.

Those people may be perfectly happy with such an outcome though?

Of any cause? What about COVID, or leukemia?

Try living in a block of flats. The fact that even though you have hundreds of people living super close to you an yet you have benefits of complete anonimity is a pure bliss.

No we aren’t social animals, certainly not in rural areas. Give me a good book and a quiet afternoon in the shade of a tree with no neighbours any day.

You maybe not. But having lived in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities and that in a pinch you all need to be able to rely on each other. A good book isn't going to get your car out of a ditch or help locate your kid or pet when it has gone missing.

You may be, I may be not. That doesn’t lead to any conclusion than “some people like other people”

I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions.

Why would I park my car in a ditch?

> I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions.

That's funny. You are relying on thousands of other people every day, all day long. you just don't realize it. And not all of those are economic transactions there is plenty of goodwill involved. For instance, you rely on other people not to kill you when you are driving. Every time a stranger saves your bacon when you make a mistake, for instance. They don't have to! But if that's your worldview I don't think I'll be able to change it.

> Why would I park my car in a ditch?

I don't think anybody who ever parked their car in a ditch asked that question prior to it happening and afterwards they probably still didn't know. But in areas where there is snow it isn't rare at all to have vehicles do stuff that wasn't quite in the plan. My neighbor in Canada managed to do this with a tractor. Fortunately for him I had a bigger tractor and was able to pull his out of the ditch. And when it was my turn someone kindly brought over an excavator...

Society is a fabric, and no man is an island, not even you. You may have the illusion that you are but from the cradle to the grave you are 100% dependent on other people. Unless you live in the boonies and grow your own food and hunt, but if that were the case you wouldn't be writing here. Speaking of which: right now you rely on me to converse with you.

Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not.

I’m sure it was decades ago in the curtain twitching world where people stayed living int he same street for decades, but not today in a highly movable world. Certainly not for me any my peers. any interactions I make are slot my own choosing, that I happen to live near someone is of no consequence.

If I did park my car in a ditch there a plethora of recovery services that will retrieve it, whether I’m a mile from home of 200 miles from home. I have no need or desire to know anything about the recovery driver, or the pilot who flew the plane I was last on, or the guy who delivers my mail, nor the plumber who replaced my boiler last year.

> Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not.

Given how our language has a word, "neighborly", to describe friendly, helpful behavior, I think the burden is on you here for explaining why talking to your neighbor isn't a thing one can normally expect. I don't think you've done that yet.

> I’m sure it was decades ago in the curtain twitching world where people stayed living int he same street for decades, but not today in a highly movable world. Certainly not for me any my peers.

How old are you? I'm in my mid 30s and this describes none of my peers, including the younger ones in their late 20s. I can imagine younger folks wanting this. I certainly remember having friends who talked about wanting to move around to different cities/countries all the time in college and shortly after, but their priorities shifted over time. I have friends who love to travel, but I don't know anyone who wouldn't love either a house or an apartment they didn't have to worry about losing each year due to the landlord jacking up the rent or the building being sold to someone who wants to convert the building to condos.

> any interactions I make are slot my own choosing, that I happen to live near someone is of no consequence.

I'm not sure what this means. I can't imagine it's literally true as you can't really control if someone else approaches you, unless you just flatly refuse to acknowledge their presence.

> If I did park my car in a ditch there a plethora of recovery services that will retrieve it, whether I’m a mile from home of 200 miles from home.

I've had to wait a long time on a tow truck before when the weather was pleasant. When there's a snowstorm emergency services get slammed and delays increase. My neighbor has a truck and a snow plow, and I wouldn't hesitate to ask him if he could help unstick my car if it sank into the mud a bit. Also, he plows my driveway when the snow is heavy. We do neighborly things for them as well, like helping out when a tree falls in their yard.

I don't have kids yet, but from our experiences helping our neighbors out and having grown up with neighbors we knew well, they're invaluable for raising kids. "It takes a village to raise a child" is quite real!

I'm not sure if age has much to do with people's feelings on the importance of "neighborliness", but since you think it matters - I am in my 40s.

I live happily alone. I have never owned a house and I have no desire to ever own one. I don't greet my neighbors and never have. And yet, somehow, I am still able to function in society. In my current place, I have spoken to my neighbors once or twice, when a problem was affecting the building, or the floor, or just our section of the floor. We communicated well enough to contact the landlord and decide who would stay home when the workman came. We have collaborated to solve shared problems, as any human in society does. I don't know their names or anything about their private lives, though. It's not relevant. They're not my friends, they are just part of my community.

From my perspective the idea that only friends are capable of helping one another out is a really pessimistic view of the world that - when applied broadly - results in corruption and injustice. I place a greater importance on civil society then on friendship, and I am grateful to live amongst neighbors who apparently feel the same.

> I'm not sure if age has much to do with people's feelings on the importance of "neighborliness", but since you think it matters - I am in my 40s.

I think someone's experience of major life events probably plays into this. I don't think it fully determines someone's position obviously, but I'd be pretty surprised if it didn't correlate somewhat. There are always going to be outliers though.

> I don't greet my neighbors and never have. And yet, somehow, I am still able to function in society.

I don't doubt that's true, and I didn't say you couldn't function in society either. When I lived in apartments I didn't say hi to my neighbors much either, as in that case the landlord fulfills a lot of the same type of role, and neighbors come and go much faster.

> From my perspective the idea that only friends are capable of helping one another out is a really pessimistic view of the world that - when applied broadly - results in corruption and injustice.

I agree. That would indeed be a very pessimistic view of the world. For what it's worth I don't think I said anything of the sort. I do think people are more likely to help out people they know and like though. I don't know if that's good or not, but I think it's true. Regardless, I don't know how you'd reach out to someone you didn't have contact info for, and knowing someone's routine surely helps as well.

> Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not.

Errm.. yes, that's perfectly normal.

>decades ago in the curtain twitching world where people stayed living int he same street for decades, but not today in a highly movable world

You're simply wrong - decades ago people moved much more than they do now.

https://www.businessinsider.com/americans-are-moving-less-so...

>In 2021, 8.4% of Americans lived in a different residence than they did a year ago, per the Census Bureau's annual Current Population survey. This was not only a decline from 9.8% in 2019 and 9.3% in 2020, but the lowest "mover rate" since at least 1948 — the earliest data period measured. Back then, the mover rate was roughly 20%, and it's been on a steady decline since the 1980's.

> in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities

Unless you are non-white, an immigrant, LGBTQ, neurodivergent, etc...

It's a bit odd to make such a blanket statement for people living in rural areas all over the world. These are "my peeps" and we're not any of those things.

It's not about you or "your peeps" but rather about the repressive laws (and predominant culture which gives rise to such laws) in these places.

I was specifically talking about rural areas in the US, since HN is predominantly a US-centric website, but my argument applies to other countries as well.

I've lived in rural areas and while there was some messed up stuff, your blanket statement wasn't entirely my experience.

I would suggest that, while you might find less cosmopolitan people in rural areas, they're also more willing to overlook aspects of you that they dislike. You can't really afford to be too picky about your friendships when there's not much to choose from.

>You can't really afford to be too picky about your friendships when there's not much to choose from.

Only someone extremely privileged could twist the desire for basic safety as being "picky"

No we aren’t social animals

And yet, here you are...

The fuck you doing posting your opinions on social media then?

Here's a great book recommendation for you - "The Little Book of Lykke: Secrets of the World's Happiest People" by Meik Wiking

Are you sure we can't?

I'm pretty sure there are people who live alone like up in the mountains or out in the wilderness alone and do just fine.

If you lower your standards, sure. "Just fine" is survivable, but unless one derives enjoyment out of solitude and playing "is it wet or is it cold" all the time, I don't think you'll win many people over to such viewpoints.

(I've done solo trips and hiked the AT; it's a great experience, but definitely not for everyone.)

Living in the wilderness doesn't mean living in squalor. Off-grid houses can be downright luxurious compared to the typical suburban tract McMansion.

Ah well, that is possible too. I feel that if the housing crisis is bad now, sparse off-grid housing sounds like a far worse way to solve it. And that's besides the wilderness-ruining prospects it has unless one is to build without heavy machinery (access also sounds expensive in environmental and financial costs). And with wildfires becoming more prevalent…location becomes way more important.

So again, not a solution for many in my mind (even if they want it).

The flip side of this is that -if you’re rather unlucky- being so codependent on the community can get ugly, quite fast; especially in such a remote environment. All it takes is one crazy neighbor to start turn the village against you for no particularly compelling reason.

It’s funny, I’ve always known my neighbors and talk to everyone on the block, but then I realized that most of them don’t talk to each other. Strange way to live because we are increasingly living in a world where you’re going to need help sooner or later and who else can you seek help from in emergencies other than your neighbors?

We had a mom who had recently moved in, screaming in hysterics on the block one day because she thought her toddler ran away when she stepped out for a moment to throw out trash. My neighbor (who also talks to everyone) and I came out, and along with the mailman and a couple of construction guys around the corner, immediately did a search on the neighborhood blocks. She eventually found him hiding in the house, and was relieved, but then just walked away without so much as a thank you to anyone. Such a strange way to live.

In the novel I’m currently reading, Popco (which I think the HN crowd would totally dig), there’s a section where there’s a seminar in network theory talking about the reason things like 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, or any network of connected nodes, manage to have connections with so few hops is because there end up being superconnectors which are connected to a large number of other nodes. I realized I had that role in my circle of friends in my 20s after I moved away and then came back for a visit a few months later and discovered that few of them had seen each other in the intervening months. You likely play that role on your block. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

Yep, in the last place I lived we had a really kind and friendly neighbor who is also a handyman of sorts and helps people on the block with whatever random small problems they have in their houses. He knows everyone and regularly introduces people to each other. I'd be standing on the sidewalk talking with him and someone else would walk by. He'd say "oh have you met Such-and-such?" and call the person over. He single-handedly makes that block like an order of magnitude more neighborly and sociable than it otherwise would be.

I also have an experience where the design of the neighborhood heavily affects interaction with my neighbours. I live in a street whose entrance is too narrow for cars. Except for the occasional motorcycle, the soundscape makes it possible to chat every time I exit my house and there’s no barrier between the houses affecting visibility. Hanging out in front of the house is enjoyable because the backyards are tiny. We have a great relationship with all our neighbours and they form a sort of extended family. In the beginning, one thing that surprised me was the social dynamics reminding me of school, but it still beats anonymity. There are great demonstrations of support with the elders, the parents, or the alcoholics of the street when they can’t open their door at night. We are quite different from each other but physical proximity overcomes it.

Yeah I had a similar experience at my last place. I actually attribute it at least in part to what kind of weather your area has. My last house was in a very temperate place, and I and my neighbors were very often outside where spontaneous conversation could manifest.

I’m currently in Phoenix, AZ, and given regular temperatures over 105* F, there just typically aren’t many people out and about, save for a few hours in the morning. And that’s usually before sun up.

I have noticed a general decline in my spirits not shooting the breeze with my neighbors from time to time.

I'm one of those neighbors who doesn't seem to exist. I don't dislike my neighbors and would like to interact with them more often, unfortunately I don't often have time for it.

Did you go over and knock on his door and offer him a tray of brownies or a potted plant or something? I just moved, and that's exactly what happened with us. Nonzero chance we'll be looking after our other neighbors' amazing Bernese within the next 6 months.

One thing my wife and I noticed during COVID (I live in suburban NJ):

6pm-6:30pm seems to be a prime time for people in general and families specifically to go for a walk. If you are outside with kids playing on the front lawn, this leads to a lot of organic conversation since no one is in a rush.

If you happen to be preparing and eating dinner inside during this time (like we used to), you can miss out on a lot of opportunities to get to know your neighbors (assuming they are friendly).

Did you move into an affluent & predominantly white neighborhood? I will probably get shit for this, but this has been the norm in those from my experience.

After I got into tech I lived in a couple of them for five years then just gave up and moved back to the underdeveloped part of the city I grew up in, where people are willing to acknowledge each other.

here’s your counter-point. now the sample size is two.

lived in a diverse, affluent, tech/corpo neighborhood, most neighbors ignored or were passive aggressive - the kind where you know you aren’t being ignored because the behavior is too egregious to not be aware of the impact. you aren’t being ignored, you aren’t worth ignoring.

lived in an older, affluent neighborhood. four neighbors that would likely be described as caucasian regardless of their names or backgrounds were nothing but kind, offering to help the first time we interacted.

lived in an older, rural, poor neighborhood. most folks would stop and talk if you were outside, see how stuff is going. place was shit. some of the folks were gold.

the issue isn’t the skin color, the wallet fullness, the religion, or the race. you can look any which way and be an asshole on the inside. you can have a lot or a lot of nothing, and be an asshole.

affluence just let’s the asshole shine through a bit more. after all, the asshole deserves a lot, and the money is proof.

larger cities develop these little bubbles of halfluence - starter mcmansions for the white collar “elite,” close to their cubicle farms or at least a fat internet pipe and a starbucks within uber. the environment is shit - these aren’t actually elites - so the individuals tend to act up in their burbclaves.

established vs gentrified might be a better distinction. established doesn’t always mean affluent, but it does have a different sort of wealth.

> established vs gentrified might be a better distinction. established doesn’t always mean affluent, but it does have a different sort of wealth.

long term residents vs. new blood. different motivations and world view, and playing different games.

i'm in a well off 'burb next to a university, no one talks. lots of community leagues, posters about clubs, etc. but none of the neighbors interact. lots of renters, med students, et al, and they'll be gone in 3 years.

previous neighborhood was a poorer downtown apartment neighborhood owned by old italian ladies. they didn't do management companies or automated rent transfers, they made a point to come around every month, both to collect, but also to check in. they genuinely cared about knowing people, and wanted us to talk to each other -- helped prevent things like break-ins and accidental fires, etc.

Yes I was using those as lazy shorthands to avoid litigating the exact definitions or having to account for all of the nuance elided by them. They're affiliations and trends, not geo-destiny. Historical immigrant enclaves specifically tend to be really interesting counterexamples, one way or another.

Being Established not meaning specifically wealth, I like that

Not the person you responded to, but I'll bite. I live in an affluent nearly all-white suburban neighborhood. I know everyone within two houses in any direction, and a few that are even farther than that. We have one recluse and one Karen, but everyone else is super laid back. It's delightful.

I've lived in a range of neighborhoods over my life, and I haven't really seen a pattern. My gut instinct is that attitude is contagious, and friendly neighborhoods have (or had) someone who spreads the love. People reflect the way they are treated.

No shade but I'd like to hear from one of the non-white neighbors about how delightful it is? I do generally assume the white people living in all-white places are having a good time with it.

I've never felt quite that comfortable that I'd ask. Our token black family is a pair of lawyers who seem plenty affluent and comfortable, and they certainly socialize with the rest of the neighborhood as much as anyone else. Are they consciously aware of their minority status? I imagine so. I feel the same way when I'm the only white person in a black neighborhood. It's a pretty laid back neighborhood, and I've seen zero indication that anyone here is racist.

But this is the PNW, and while our history is far from crystal clean, we mostly don't have anything like the tension that is normal in areas of the country farther south.

I'm non-white. My friendliest and kindest neighbor is white, an old timer who has been in the same house for over 50 years. His wife bakes cakes for us and they share produce from their vegetable patch. The only other neighbor who talks to me regularly is also white. He is also from an "older" generation with grown up kids who have moved away.

The rest of the neighbors are a younger and more diverse crowd who have moved here within the last decade. A few of them will wave hi occasionally. More commonly they will avoid eye contact.

IMO it is a generational thing and not racial.

I'm a brown man living in an extremely wealthy, extremely white pocket of Portland Oregon (whitest city in the country) in my mixed race marriage

No one cares.

Racism exists but most white social activists way overemphasize the role it plays in my life.

White people, like all races, are extremely friendly. All Americans are really.

I'm not sure race or affluence has anything to do with it so much as how the place you're living is designed. There needs to be a reason for people to walk - like going to some shops, the train, nice parks, etc. When you have that then people see each other often and recognize each other and say hi and stop and chat for a few minutes. And some of those relationships grow as you find out you have certain shared interests (kids, hobbies, etc) and someone gets the courage to invite the others over for a BBQ with some others and it's nice. And it becomes contagious as people begin to blend and the next thing you know the entire block you live on, most everyone knows most everyone else.

But if you live in a place where there's nothing walkable and walking isn't even encouraged (no sidewalks, etc) then people don't really leave their back yards. Everyone is isolated. And to be sure this is what a good deal of people want. But if you want community and getting to know each other then you need to live in a place that encourages walking around.

I'm sure you're right but I've never lived in a suburb. Even in the dense urban neighborhoods of my experience there is a big difference. Car ownership & use may play a role though. The wealthier neighborhoods are more walkable & bikeable and closer to transit but still have more people with cars, more space taken up by garages.

I live in a predominantly white extremely rich neighborhood in Portland. We even have a private club that costs thousands to belong to ( one of these fancy social clubs... We do not belong to it).

Anyway... No this is not the norm. My neighborhood is extremely social and has constant get togethers.

I agree with the comments on 'half fluence'. I have some friends who've moved in to newer developments. Those neighborhoods are much less social. Ours is more established.

Spooky. If not for the garbage cans you'd wonder if he was even alive.

“What’s He Building?”

— <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04qPdGNA_KM>

I wonder if perhaps the neighbor might feel the same about you?

The global pandemic may be affecting their behavior.

My street was full of older folks that we got to know over the years. Some moved to assisted living, some are getting there, and some passed away from unexpected diagnoses.

We have new Gen Z neighbours for the last two years who seem to exist in their bubble, shutting out the immediate world and interacting only with their social circle. Barely an acknowledgement even if we’re out in the yard, shovelling snow or cutting grass.

I don’t expect much, but maybe small talk once every couple of months to get a sense they’re alright, and not gone off the deep end and bottling their urine in mason jars.

At some point, you start to fill in the blanks by noticing little things like what’s on TV through the window (hockey 24/7) when you drive by, who does the yard work (she does) or the decorations they put up on the outside.

I am wondering if this is some generational divide at play where some slice of the population had been conditioned that the only valid interactions are those that happen online.

It’s also possible that we seem intimidating or unsocial — but our interactions with other neighbours don’t seem to give this vibe.

> I am wondering if this is some generational divide at play where some slice of the population had been conditioned that the only valid interactions are those that happen online.

I think it's likely some of that is at play, yeah. A less confrontational way to phrase this could be: perhaps people who were raised with the Internet feel they find sufficient socialization through talking with their friends online, and don't go looking for it elsewhere.

In any case, I wouldn't read too much into it, or take it personally. I'm 35 and have lived in my house for 10 years and have only really met three of my neighbors beyond "hi". If we were neighbors, maybe you would think I think you're intimidating or unsocial, but that's not the case, I'm just shy and have a hard time being around new people. Talking with strangers is a major event for me, and I'm usually not up to the task without a lot of mental prep work. I wish I was more social, but well, I've tried, and I'm just not comfortable with it. It is what it is.

I agree.

I'm not quite so shy, but on that same side of the spectrum for sure. The deal with me these days is that I've got a couple kids; one thing that comes along with that is quite a bit of social interaction with people you're not 100 percent at ease with. So, that energy - the same type id use to do some small talking with the neighbors - is almost always on E for me.

I definitely see a pattern regarding younger folks.

I got some Gen-Z co-workers, and most of them immigrated here alone. A lot of them don't interact much with other co-workers, don't join parties, activities or happy hours, don't speak the language of the country, and report spending all weekend alone at their single-room apartments.

I also ask them to not work overtime but they just mute Slack and continue working after 6pm and lie on their monthly timesheets (yep we got those now because of this). They haven't learned how to change git timestamps yet, though.

Most will go back to their country sometime after claiming they couldn't adapt to the "cold culture" here. At least that's what happened for the last few years.

I wonder about this, and not in the sense that this person is being extra cautious still. In my case, I moved into my house a few months before the pandemic struck. When I moved in, the couple across the street came by to introduce themselves when I was moving in. We had a short friendly chat and exchanged numbers.

Once the pandemic hit, everyone sort of disappeared, and I hadn't even talked to the neighbors on one side of the house. During that period, I got more introverted and sort of started avoiding social interactions with people, and not because of a fear of catching COVID. I just became more withdrawn since I wasn't socializing in general.

Anyway, after it got safer and more people were getting out, I now felt awkward seeing the people who introduced themselves on that first day since so much time has elapsed without conversation. (That's on me and my social anxiety, though.) I think it'll require me getting over my introversion to chat with them now.

On the other hand, I have been over to a neighbor on one side of my house a couple of times, but that was them going out of their way to include me.

I think what I'm saying is the pandemic created this weird empty period where people who had just moved in to neighborhoods didn't necessarily build connections with their neighbors and now it'll take some effort to bridge those gaps. On top of that, I think there was some social practice that many of us were out of, which made it even more difficult to just chat up strangers, but I feel like for me this is finally starting to go away.

Congratulations. You live next to an Oompa Loompa factory.

Why would you move away from such a nice situation?

"In our new house, there is no community gathering space and we leave in a culdesac at the end of a road. The result is we don’t get to know our neighbors. "

Some people like people ..

I feel like I read this comment on another thread a while ago. Did I?

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