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Comment by bilekas | Hacker News Reader

So often we hear after someone dies how great they really where when infact they were like most people, a mixed bag. We all have ups and downs etc.

There are some though that really do live up to the postmortem messages and for sure Bram is one of them, i was lucky to meet him and actually spend some time shooting shit with him. At the time i didn't realize how big a deal he was, it was only later i would actually get to know and appreciate VIM, but from all of that it made me appreciate him a lot more. So when I read these kind of posts i can't help feel sad of course but I do get shivers of how damn ossum he really was. The testimonials to him hit so hard knowing they're 100% genuine. We need more like him, he will be really missed.

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I occasionally ponder on how frustrating it is that the deceased don't get to hear their eulogies. It would have been amazing for Bram to have been able to experience all the outpouring of support and love from people he is interacted with during his life. Especially in a context where the speakers aren't considering him as an audience -- they're sharing their deep and true feelings.

No one can really be sure how their acquaintances feel about them. Eulogies are the closest we get. Imagine if he were able to hear all these great things said about him... It would be such a joy.

This is why I always make it a point to tell people how much I appreciate them and why (when I do, I mean). It can be awkward at first, but I’ve developed a good self-deprecation that lets me excuse myself for being gushy (“I might start crying; I’m a crier!”), and that disarms people for the most part. I think it’s really important that we let people know how much we value them and why we honor/respect them when we do. Because most of us do wander through life in a cloud of unknowing and uncertainty.

Off topic but your comment makes me think of Nick Drake. He died at 26, before even knowing he'd achieved anything, his music barely listened to, probably feeling a failure. Posthumously he's one of the world's most acclaimed recording artists. RIP Bram.

Good example, although Van Gogh is probably the more cited.

“The Doctor and Amy take Vincent Van Gogh - who struggled to sell a single painting in his own lifetime - to a Paris art Gallery in the year 2010”

https://youtu.be/ubTJI_UphPk

I remember the emotional impact of that scene hit me hard when I first saw it. It still hits 89% as hard now upon many repeat viewings.

Another example is Stieg Larsson, author of the Girl with the dragon tattoo triology. He died before these books were published.

Also John Kennedy Toole, his novel The Confederacy of Dunces was published by his mother after his suicide and it ended up winning the Pulitzer.

At least in one of the Van Gogh movies, he says something like 'one day, people will understand'. To me, that suggests that he knew the value of his work whereas OP suggests that Nick Drake didn't know that he created something that people will value.

An example from South Africa: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Searching_for_Sugar_Man

Larry David had the same thought, and it was the theme of the episode "The Covid Hoarder" in Curb Your Enthusiasm wherein Albert Brooks stages a funeral for his non-deceased self.

Cue "Waking Ned Divine" reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXe_kRQdHfU

That's what birthdays are for. I like to think, anyway.

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