There are so many more outlets for dopamine in the modern world, and with the internet we can post about it and share it with our peers instantly.
Children lock you into a life of servitude. They're "expensive furniture for tiny apartments" as Peter Zeihan says, no longer "free labor for the farm". Unlike dogs, you can't leave them at home unattended.
This isn't just Japan. This is everywhere.
As a non-Japanese couple in our late 30s who decided not to have kids, I confirm those are exactly our reasons.
While I generally love kids and will be a good uncle, I just can't fathom the financial/emotional/time burden required to raise a couple of them for 18 years. I have just one life and this is my ride. If regret will eventually show up, I'll deal with it.
We're in our late 30s and are definitely not having any.
That said, I believe that a couple that is 1000% sure they want to have children and know what they are getting into should absolutely do it. The issue is that there are so many parents/future parents locked into the "you'll never be ready" or "you can never be too sure" mentality and fail to fully grasp what you're sacrificing and leaving behind when you become a parent.
I fear for people who choose this path. Being childless in your 30s sounds like a blast. But that's just one stage of your life. How fun is life going to be when you're 40+? Or when your health begins to decline? Maybe it will be worth it, maybe not. When I visit older relatives who are childless (at least to me) their lives come off as hollow and sad.
My grandfather willingly moved to Florida, away from the family. We'd be expected to visit for holidays, of course, but he wanted to play tennis in the sun.
Having children is also an opportunity for personal development and growth, just of a different flavor and different direction.
Of course there isnt a single answer, but I think people should question the implicit assumption that the "best ride", most fun, ect is the childfree one.
The people who really don't want kids, the ones sterilizing themselves, are all depressed. They have miserable lives. They aren't traveling and having great vacations, they aren't becoming CEOs, they aren't living in the lap of luxury. They're mostly alone.
Oddly, the people who have kids travel a lot more despite it being much harder with a kid. We have a lot of family demanding we visit and who wants to visit. We have a lot of things to show the kids.
The folks with kids are generally the ones with more illustrious careers, the ones higher up the food chain. Some of that may be that it's easier to have kids when you have more money.
Wealth is not just money. It is the whole of your circumstance. Your home and whether you want to be in it, whether you like your life partner, and how your family unit gets along. You need enough money for things of course.
Your theory sounds great on paper, but I don't think it holds up.
But I earn more money, and have a child on the way. Hopefully that means I'm worth more!
It also doesn't speak to the specific circumstances in Japan either. I'm sure "herbivore men" exist in the West, but they're not common enough that we have a term for it that I know of.
(Sure there are incels, but that's something different).
I always thought dogs were somehow less convenient than kids. At least society is built around the parent/kid dynamic somewhat.
Yes. Yes you can...
You put food in a bowl and leave it on the floor. They eat it when they are hungry. It's quite simple...
Bathroom? If you feed them at the same time every day, the usually go to the bathroom at the same time every day. You build habits. They go out before you go to work, and then when you come home, they go out and relieve themselves.
There are also grass pads for smaller dogs that can be left inside the home.
These are not difficult problems.
"They make noise and destroy things"
If yours does, you have a sh*tty dog that probably isn't being taken care of correctly.
Most cared for dogs just sit around, sleep, and wait for their owners to get home.
If you have all the experience with dogs that you say you do, and yet still hold the thoughts about dogs that you do...i'm not sure what to say about that.
If that is too expensive for the budget then you could grant citizenship to families with many children from developing countries.
Little children do, but they don't stay little
Quite a few of my liberal friends are childless, which is odd because who's going to carry on their values?
Memetic continuity doesn’t require genetic continuity, and IME plenty of the people forgoing the latter are also putting considerable effort into the former.
How do these people invert that so thoroughly, that they believe that it's not just negative from time to time, but overwhelmingly so and constantly? I hate to stoop to pop psychology, but that's some sort of profound multi-generational trauma going on, isn't it?
Its not saying that there is only one possible experience, but asking where the pessimism is coming from.
So are you stupid or blind? You can’t possibly thing of anything that would make people more pessimistic?
People can either think "being a parent would be miserable" or "being a parent would be fun". The interesting question is what leads them to one conclusion or the other.
In general, my life is pretty great and full of loving friends and family. I think my children's lives will be great too.
Do you have a support team that shares the load with you? We don't have anyone we can rely on. My in-law that does fly out sometimes would rather play with their phone than be a grandparent and we can't trust them to so much as drive a dog to the vet because we're sure they'd get distracted or lost or just crash.
Kids are a ton of of work. Life is a ton of work. Combine those two things and have no "village" to speak of and it's often too much. There's no pop psychology needed to point out that for many people, kids aren't their best life. Kids aren't always rewarding. Sometimes the right answer is the easy answer: if you don't want kids, having one will not be a net positive for your life.
However, like I said above, the interesting part of the question is the why. I think the lack of a village and support network is a very plausible answer. My friends that are the happiest with children also have a robust Village and social life which is supportive of raising children. This includes social activities that don't force adults to choose between parenting and personal enjoyment. This can be as simple dinner parties a couple times a week where one parent will watch The Children Play while everyone else takes a load off.
I think another similar plausible explanation is a cultural expectation that parents replace their lives with that of their children opposed to integrating the children into their own lives.
If parents like camping, travel, gardening, or reading, they should what they love with their kids.
Fuck watching the wiggles or elmo 8 hours a day. That's insanity and needless suffering.
Generation Z is the most risk adverse and cautious/fearful cohort of humans in US history.
Even if parenting is on average extremally rewarding, it is also very scary at first and things can go very badly in some rare cases.
You see all kinds of trends related to this, like declines in sex, dating, risky behaviors, ect.
They are also one of the most pessimistic/cynical cohorts in general.
Taken together, I think these trends have huge impacts on how people view parenting.
(it's a joke, sorry).
Nobody owes you to make children. It's your own choice.
But it's quite fun (and not that expensive in my country).
It's natural selection, applied to values/religion/etc...
nobody asked. people asked about why specifically japan stands out here, it is a big statistical outlier.