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Comment by jncfhnb | Hacker News Reader

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> HN seems to have a small group of people who openly advocate for their own race’s inferiority on the basis of average penis size that crops up from time to time.

it does?

I’m not saying GP is wrong as I may have missed it. I’ve read far, far too much HN and haven’t seen anything that I feel relates to this.

I don’t know what you think a life coach does. But one that solves their own problems and is happy is probably a good one.

I think one thing we have leaned over time is it is not always possible to change how one thinks.

For example. Some men like women, and do not find other men attractive at all. No amount of conditioning may change this. Or even something as simple as eating, an urge so strong that reasoning about it id nearly impossible.

What if this man had the same feeling about penis size as other men about desiring women?

Of. Note. I have never desired a larger penis, but worried it was smaller than desired by the opposite sex. When thinking about it, I prefer the size I am, as a the large floppy ones look like they get the way of normal day to day interactions.

You appear to be conflating things that are rigidly immutable vs. things that are reasonably intrinsic and healthy.

It sucks that some people develop such neuroses, but it’s pretty strictly detrimental to their lives and mental health.

These surgeries are largely unnecessary, solving imagined problems. If a life coach looks at this and sees a real problem and a positive solution… I would steer clear. I would say this person has a distorted, ungrounded perspective

I did not conflate. Outright told you that your assumptions that these things are mutable are wrong.

You sound just like an anti trans or old school gay hater.

Things you think are choices or are “developed” may just be things that are the way they are. Why do some people like blue and others purple.

You are outright putting your desires as normal and others as not.

You are a penis bigot at worse, or misinformed at best. Take some time to understand you are one person and not representative of all and what is normal for you may not be normal for others.

I suppose you are entitled to an opinion, but I feel very strongly that body dysmorphia that causes men to obsess over their penises and seek surgeries to change it is a harmful neurosis not at all comparable to trans/gay folks intrinsic identities.

It might be hard to shake a neurosis like penis obsession but it isn’t healthy…

I agree, it is disappointing to hear of a life coach doing something ridiculous. Considering the rigid standards one has to meet and the strenuous and continuous licensing and re-licensing that happens, it is virtually unheard of to see a life coach be involved in anything less than aspirational.

What is this small group of people you refer to?

I mean I’m not tracking and classifying users by their neuroses. I get the sense it is mostly male Asian immigrants living in CA unable to get any dates in a competitive, underpopulated, mostly white female dating market.

If so, they need merely read johnnyworker's post at the top of this topic to find that there are "plenty of fish in the sea" (possibly 2/3 of them!) that would be satisfied with their physique.

I agree that this is a thing and one that I have witnessed but not on HN. And yeah, there are studies indicating white women as having the largest (or maybe second, black women were up there) racial ingroup bias in dating [0]

[0]: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/okcupid-race_n_5811840

This looks like men dislike black women, and women like men of their own race.

I agree, but the magnitude of the preference for men overall is smaller.

Men appear to be mostly anti-black and otherwise agnostic, whereas women have strong in group preference.

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