It sounds like she's enjoying life, regardless of her poor situation. She's aware of her decisions; they're a conscious choice. That's respectable.
My relative is just like the person described here. Goes out of her way to please everyone, sacrifices greatly, terrible financials. All because she loves the attention that is bestowed upon her. However, she is utterly miserable with her life in general and is constantly bitter about her circumstances...which she eases away by going out to dinner with some friends or buying an expensive gadget.
It's more than a little arrogant to say that she's not the master of her own life just because she works to the detriment of her health. Yes, by defintion, she needs money to survive; nonetheless, she goes out and gets that money when it's needed. That is worthy of respect.
You're saying she's somehow a bad human. In reality it's the greed for money which makes us bad humans.
She is clearly not the master of her life if she decides to put off pregnancy so some pupils don't feel disappointed. She wants at least 3 children (very badly!) and she's already over 30 years old - so, she has to hurry up anyway. At least that's not mastery according to my definition.
I've lived with an anti-money mindset for most of my life (it's changing, slowly), and it wasn't a conscious choice. I never sat down and thought "ok, I don't want money, so I'm going to steer away from opportunities to make money, spend money that arrives to me as quickly as possible, and basically generally push it away". Once it was pointed out to me repeatedly that I did this, I started working on changing this subconscious choice. It's still an ongoing process, and far from over.
It takes some pretty strong-headed, tireless friends to keep pointing out to you that you're being stupid and it's hurting your life. It takes a number of obvious, unignorable examples of people less talented than you doing much better.
Without those constant nudges over a period of years, most people will rationalise things just as you do, about themselves or about others. I wish on this woman that her friends will figure out how to get it through to her that she could have a much better life, and that her own subconscious choices and thought patterns are holding her back, rather than any external circumstances.
For example, one such belief is the idea that money is evil, the cause of problems. That's a load of crap. Money is a token of value that can be exchanged for whatever the hell you want. It's a resource that can be used to do great good or great evil - but that entirely depends on the person doing things. Money is a lever that you can use to multiply your impact on the world - but as long as you keep pushing money away from you, you don't get to use that lever effectively. If you understand this idea, that goes a long way towards starting to resolve manmal's friend's money issues...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with "not wanting to impact the world", and it's a shame that so many are implying that it is. It's "enjoying life", plain and simple.
I don't care about money; I let it run out a few months ago. Didn't phase me. I simply got a job when I needed to, and now I have $11k saved up. I'm very lucky to be a programmer. But more than that, I'm lucky to be able to enjoy life by studying as much science as I want to. Does that make me a bad person? By your implication, it does, because I don't care about money, and spend it freely.
On a different note... It sounds like you've been through a struggle, and came out stronger. I just wanted to say congratulations. I respect that a lot.
That's a world away from the situation described in previous posts. It sounds like you have your priorities straight, which is commendable, rather than being at the mercy of a self-sacrificing mindset...
On a different note... It sounds like you've been through a struggle, and came out stronger. I just wanted to say congratulations. I respect that a lot.
Thanks. Struggle still ongoing. :-)