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Comment by Timpy | Hacker News Reader

I read a comment on hacker news that I cannot find now, but it resonated deeply with me. Don't try to answer the question "what do you want to be?", answer the question "what do you want to do?"

I answered the wrong question, I said "I want to be a musician". And what I did was teach music I didn't care for, perform music I didn't care for, work for people and gigs I didn't care for, made a salary I didn't care for. I had high skills and expertise that wasn't being used; I was never paid for playing one of Bach's lute suites, I made a lot of money off of really simple wedding music.

What do I want to do? Play music that I'm passionate about. Make enough money to not be uncomfortable. Work in a field where expertise and knowledge is useful on a regular basis. I'm very happy now to pick up gigs for free because I like the gig. And as a side gig, I'm a full time programmer.

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It's the difference between an "identity" and a lifestyle. An "identity" pretends to be what you are, but it's really how you want people to see you, and 99% of the time is based on people that you admire (which I'm pretty sure means "look at" in Romance.) To me, it's a sort of self-hypnosis.

A lifestyle is what you do every day. Good news: If one likes to play music every day, it's a lot easier to do that to become whatever a "musician" currently represents in the society of the spectacle.

I had a coach recently frame this as "what impact do you want to have?" and relatedly, "how big an impact do you think you can have?"

In your case the impact might be something like "to inspire others who hear the music I play". Or it might simply be "to increase my own wellbeing by taking joy through playing."

After all, there must be some underlying reason why music is important to you. So this framing can help unearth that and thus allow you to focus your efforts on those goals.

What impact do you want to have?

“It depends on how many floors up I jumped from really”

The issue is that that “main gig” dominates your time. I get up early in the morning to commute to work. I spend 8 hours at work doing what main gig requires. I commute home. If I’m super lucky, as well has having no family or social obligations, and I don’t do any cleaning or chores, I get 3-5 hours to both relax and work on side gigs. Then I’m getting ready for bed or doing one of the other things I have to do to sustain life.

While the person working the other gig full time, while they do a lot of stuff they don’t want to do, all that stuff is in the same vein as the stuff they want to do, and practice like that has value. Maybe you’re not playing beach’s lute suites, but the playing/performing/writing/networking you’re doing has more value to that thing than being a programmer.

It’s not straightforward which one is better if you really want to take the side gig forward and advance.

To some extent I agree. I taught guitar while I was in undergrad for my music performance degree, and having a guitar in my lap and reviewing the absolute basics with kids was way better than making pizza or pouring beers to make a paycheck like the other guys in my studio were doing. It gave me an edge that I'm grateful for, and being able to practice between lessons was insanely valuable.

But I have to reiterate that for me it translated into unhappiness when I got to the playing/performing/writing/networking loop. Those between-lesson practice hours became directed at making more money and not making myself better in a way that fulfilled me. So I kept grinding on my programming career until I had the work/life balance that I needed and now I don't feel too drained to enjoy my passions when I get home. It sounds like we have different goals though, because my definition of "taking the music gig forward and advancing" is probably unconventional. I'm not telling anybody what to do, I'm just saying that I had the same experience the article describes and it was a great growing experience to learn from.

Yep. I have been told numerous times to start a bakery, or a photography business, or to open a restaurant, or start a music tuition business.

But none of the hobbies that sparked those comments would stay enjoyable if I did that.

So I'm a full-time programmer, and have tons more fun with those hobbies now than I ever would if I turned them into a career.

"As a side gig" -- I like that -- it reminds me of I had a friend who played in a band that claimed they were just rock musicians to make ends meet until their programming careers took off.

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