It isn’t either/or. It’s cumulative.
Joseph Campbell emphasized the idea of the “second father.” A mentor who takes a young man further than his father can.
A father has to love you, but the second fathers love has to be earned. Think NCOs in the military, coaches, sensais in martial arts.
We aren’t just missing fathers, we’re missing second fathers.
Not many people would describe a gunny sergeant, or football coach, or the guy who runs the local Karate America as a second father.
If you include foremen, clergy, and union bosses as second fathers, a man living in 1960 could expect to spend his entire life under the tutelage of second fathers.
Traditionally masculine institutions like the military, workplace, and churches have renounced their “second family” status, and tried desperately to feminize to appeal to women.
What sorts of institutions offer “second fathers” to young men now? Predatory ones, like far-right groups. And some sports.
Edit: there are plenty of institutions that market themselves as second families - tech companies for example. But they tend to eschew masculine gender roles.