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and it's written with noobish coffeescript and cakefiles :s

Haha, I know you don't like coffeescript, so I wrote clone client library for demo in pure JS - https://github.com/progrium/nullmq/blob/master/demos/presenc...

it just looks like js generated with coffeescript.. not really the same thing

heh, best I can do yet

it looks like idiomatic javascript to me