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Comment by Jeff_Brown | Hacker News Reader

I wonder if AI could help a user bootstrap into real human sociability.

I feel like this is actually going to be a huge next step of the self help industry... let's face it, beside getting your life in order, it largely is focused on building connections (friends/dating, etc).

A multi-modal AI can easily critique your body language, voice tonality, choice of words, etc, and give you tips on how to be more charismatic.

Why do we need to keep changing who we are?

Why can't we just be who we are and people learn to be more accepting of how others are?

This sounds immensely boring, shifting everyone to use the same/similar body language, tonality, word choice, etc.

Maybe I'm strange, but I must prefer the diversity of people as they are.

I don't equate charisma with uniformity. Most lack of charisma is not because of a failure to adhere to some standard, but due to actively negative behaviors. Chewing with your mouth open, interrupting people, not paying sufficient attention to what people say, insisting on talking about your favorite things even when someone else doesn't care, etc.

I don't imagine many people forcing AI social guidance on others. But a lot of people want social guidance, and if an AI can help -- even if it's not as good as an unaffordable therapist -- some help is better than none.

> Why do we need to keep changing who we are?

> Why can't we just be who we are and people learn to be more accepting of how others are?

Which is more reasonable and realistic: the 20% Weirdos learn how to behave to fit in with the 80% Normies, or the 80% Normies learn how to handle ("accept") the 20% Weirdos?

In most systems, the minority adapts to the majority; this is especially true when the majority is fairly uniform and the minority is not, i.e. the minority has to learn one way to adapt to the majority while the majority would have to learn multiple ways to "accept" the minority.

How does that seem to be going with for example transgenderism or various sexualities?

It just seems like a double standard and that there are a lot of problems with this line of thought to me. I have trouble understanding it.

Keep in mind I did say the self help industry - this isn’t a clinically mandated thing, it’s something people seek out themselves. There is an innate desire to improve.

Think about something really benign that almost everyone can agree on, like Toastmasters. Perhaps in a few years w/ a VR headset you can improve public speaking in front of a virtual crowd if you’re so shy that doing it in front of a large group of strangers is just too terrifying.

If you keep it to things that basic yeah that makes sense.

My mind kept going over the question of how does the AI truly determine what the majority consensus is and is that really good or fair to make everyone conform to.

Like where do you draw the lines is what kept going around in my head.

Being strange is good, but being dysfunctional is not. There are tons of people living with mental conditions /bad life situations that would very much like to change, but are not in a position to seek out the human help they need.

> Why do we need to keep changing who we are?

If who you are is smelly and unwashed...

That doesn't need to be "make everyone act the same" as much as "cut on behaviour that creep/annoy 80% of the populace

I’m all for expressing yourself socially but we do need to speak a common language to some extent otherwise those social interactions will quickly breakdown and never recur. If you want to create and maintain friendships you have to put in work to meet the other people where they’re at.

I dealt with an addition for several years. Maybe you don’t need to change who you are, but some of us do need to.

Here the incentives align to keep the user on the app.

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