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Comment by myth_drannon | Hacker News Reader

My children's elementary school has a nicely painted chair in the school yard, I think they call it Friends Chair or something. If a kid has no friends or no one to play with, they are supposed to go and sit on that chair and someone will come and play with them. I don't think people who came up with this idea understood how it works.

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Thanks to the good graces of the internet I can speak candidly about this.

When I was young it was drilled into me about making sure everyone is accepted and has friends, all that. So I would be the kid who would go make friends with the lonely kid.

But then I would learn why they don't have friends, and I wouldn't want to be their friend either. Which makes the whole thing even worse, because now you came to them and then left them. So I kind of gave up on it.

It's a fairly common thing aimed at younger kids (kindergarten, grade 1). Usually the idea is that there are fifth and sixth graders who volunteer as playground helpers and who draw the younger kids to play with them if they're alone. Then a few of the younger kids get jealous this kid gets to play with the older kids and join in too, and it mostly works.

Maybe younger kids, but I could only imagine being harassed and ridiculed as an older kid sitting in the friend chair.

It's like the difference when somebody gets hurt. Younger kids run to the hurt one to see if they're OK. The older kids tend to scatter and disappear as quickly as possible.

> It's like the difference when somebody gets hurt. (...) The older kids tend to scatter and disappear as quickly as possible.

Definitely not my experience growing up. I'm sorry.

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