> Any other introverts who don't consider themselves shy?
In this society, I think there is pressure for someone who has a shy friend to label them not shy. Maybe because it makes them feel better. To put inordinate emphasis on examples of their friend not being shy to support their argument that the friend is not shy. I think, in general, people will bolster whatever argument they want to bolster. To some friends, I may come across as not shy - but the reality is: Even though I do like being around people, as much I may regret/feel the pangs of being lonely sometimes, I prefer solitude and hiding in my cave regularly. Maybe that is being shy.
As an example, the other day, I was referencing being shy and my friend's wife called me out on it. She claimed that I knew a lot of people (true) in a large number of areas (true). If I am not shy, then how did I meet these people? My answer was that I when I get focused on a project (be it, salsa dancing, learning how to draw/paint, helping a non-profit) - I get uber focused. In this situations, I draw people in because I am supremely interested in soaking up as much as I can about the project du jour. I recognize that I don't know much - I excel in situations where I don't know much but want to know more - and I find, especially, in non-technology situations - that you can't just Google it - you have to talk to actual people. However, most of these people I know - it is a very loose connection - we're not friends per se just friendly. I just know lots of people because I have lots of interests.
I can't talk sports (didn't grow up watching football on TV like many of my peers). I can't talk politics. But I am an extremely good listener - I can draw people out on a one-to-one basis and get them to really talk about what is important to them. Not always, of course (I usually have my force fields up). However, being able to connect with someone on a non-superficial basis is a joy in my life - and it usually happens within minutes - when it happens. It is much harder to engage a group. In fact, at parties, I will be intensely soaking up the conversation (saying nothing but totally being a sponge) and my friends (extroverts) will ask me later - very annoying btw - whether I am having a good time. Usually, I am because I love hearing about other people's lives. In a group situation, I am definitely more passive - and could be seen as a non-participant. And in a way, I am. But I am listening to everyone and everything.
So I am not shy on a one-to-one basis. Does that count?
When I look at true extroverts, I marvel at their ability to work the room. To seamlessly jump from group to group. That skill can be taught - but it is more than a skill - it is a leap beyond being wrapped up in yourself, thinking that everyone is thinking about you.