> someone mentioned that the singularity wasn't a place in space, it was a location in time.That was me.
> That made me think; the mass of a BH isn't the mass of a volume of space, it's the mass of the "singularity"
This is not correct. The mass of the hole is not somehow "concentrated" at the singularity. There is no matter anywhere inside a black hole. The "mass" of the hole is a global property of its spacetime geometry.
> "singularity", which (presumably?) is located at the center of the space described by the event horizon.
Your presumption is wrong. There is no "center" of the black hole in the ordinary sense. Its spacetime geometry simply doesn't work that way; it is not like the spacetime geometry inside an ordinary spherical object.
> So there must be a place where the singularity is located
Wrong. See above.
> and there must be a direction towards it.
There is such a spacetime direction, but it's a timelike direction--towards the future--not a spacelike direction.
> Someone else suggested there are two things: a mathematical singularity and a gravitational singularity, and that they aren't the same.
That is not correct.