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Having children is a slight risk because custody is a bit more likely to be given to women than men, so men are a bit more likely to have to pay child support.
Having a spouse who stops working to take care of children is a large risk for both partners. One risks having to pay alimony to support the non-working spouse; the other risks losing their earning potential from time spent out of the workforce.
Having a child is also more than a slight risk to the woman whose body is put through drastic change with unpredictable consequences and are still expected to keep working the same as before.
That mainly seems to be an issue in the west and those who follow their way.
I met my (now) wife after a long relationship that'd ended somewhat messily. I made the conscious decision to go all-in on the new relationship because it could not possibly be what I wanted it to be if I didn't.
My wife and I were married about 5 months after meeting. My friends and family were worried that I was leaving myself vulnerable to being wiped out emotionally and financially if the marriage didn't work out. They were right, in a way. But sabotaging the relationship on order to stay safe seemed a far worse risk.
We're coming up on 18 years of marriage, so I'm glad I made that call. In an alternativee timeline where this relationship had failed, I'd like to think I'd still go all-in subsequently, but I can see how it would get harder and harder with each failed attempt.
Thats some next level bullshit. you're saying that because I'm scared of getting into a marriage, that she's the one "who's dodging a bullet"
Put another way, if a woman said she was scared of getting married, would you tell her that the man she would have married is "dodging a bullet?"
obviously not, it would be an incredibly messed up thing to say right?
This kind of "empathy" for men is precisely why its dangerous for men to get into marriage. I'll sit on my money and find other ways to find happiness in life thanks.
its not about fixating 50% into the bucket. its about incentives. there are plenty of good women for sure. the issue is there's a lot of predators out there too. And they will look and act like someone you'd want to marry. right up till its too late. You want to deny that most divorces are initiated by women? that women get custody (and the house) most of the time and that family courts are incentivized to do so because they GET A CUT? fine. But don't lecture me like I'm somehow being a less than moral person for pointing out the very obvious hazard.
If you meet the right person, go ahead and get married. but don't go in without knowing that its a one sided agreement that doesn't benefit men in the slightest.
Though, of course, if you’re still thinking about gender norms, then either find someone who agrees with your expectations, or don’t be in a relationship at all because gender norms don’t actually matter to the work that goes into making a relationship or marriage work.
Figure that out and you'll get a committed partner for life. ;)
But to start, a wife is often the sole emotional support network that a man has, and in a healthy relationship his sole source of sex.
Please elaborate.