Letting shit go is more or less what I hear from those 25+ year Indian couples with arranged marriages (from Netflix show, “Indian Matchmaking”), though they call it “tolerance”.
The thing is, how many people truly and honestly let shit go?
The thing is, how many people truly and honestly let shit go?
Every young person she helps with always start a list of qualities of their ideal partner, some of them are really small things. Yet despite telling them, it is not “100%”, they can’t let that go even before dating starts. And then you see how it sets the tone for the dates and all the drama that comes of it, and they have not even married yet.
I remember watching that and thinking, yeah, that’s obvious. Glad I know better.
But thinking about all of this, I realize, it doesn’t end at the dating. Your partner wasn’t “100%”, and as people grow and change, they are not “100%” different ways, over the years. There are different things that comes up in which to let shit go.
It might be why arranged marriages and strong cultural values around it works. There is no illusion of an ideal partner to begin with. (And you get the shadow side too, like anything else when there are bad actors)
They aren't trying to live in a Disney movie or Goethe novel.
My understanding is that Goethe and romanticism really messed up our views in the West about romance. We have unrealistic beliefs from trying to live up to fiction.
And then there is the story of Krishna and the cow maids.
When you watch the “Indian matchmaking”, you see the parents of the current generation letting their kids find their way, even though they themselves did not. But you also hear about how the older generation met — it’s an arranged marriage, but their parents typically let their kids choose from a small pool of their choosing.