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Classes? Components as functions? Classes again? Hooks?

Classes still work fine if you want to keep using them.

This doesn't appear to be what the docs recommend anymore, which is exactly what my (obviously flippant) post was meant to highlight.

Hooks were introduced five years ago and have been stable since then. So that's half a decade with no changes to the API.

Great! I bailed in the first four years I guess, after the fourth change in API.